


The Promise of a Day

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-27
Updated: 2003-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-27 01:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Picks up following episode #309.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

The eve of Thanksgiving Day at Brian’s loft, Justin is looking inside the refrigerator and Brian is at the computer putting the final touches to his new ad campaign.

 

“Brian, we need to go to the grocery store.”

“What for? The pantry is stocked.”

 

Brian turns off the computer and gets up from the desk walking towards Justin. “Because, I want to prepare Thanksgiving dinner and invite everyone to come and celebrate with us.” Brian holding Justin’s face in his hands, “My dear, Sunshine! What the fuck, are you thinking? We are not going to set up house or behave like a couple of heteros. You want to celebrate - then we are going to Ted and Emmett’s party, afterwards we are off to Babylon.”

 

Justin looks down and moves away from Brian, “Brian!”

Brian opening the fridge to get a bottle of water, “Sunshine!”

 

The phone rings and Justin goes to answer it.

 

“Hello!”

“Hi! Honey it’s mom. I am just calling to remind you to come home tomorrow and you may bring Brian. Molly and I are preparing Thanksgiving dinner. We will love to have you here. Remember you promise to come, even though the invitation was made for you and Ethan, I guess now it’s for you and Brian.”

“Thanks! Mom. I will tell Brian. Love you! Bye!”

 

Brian moving closer to Justin, “Tell me what Sunshine?”

Justin puts the phone down; “Mom just invited us to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.”

 

Brian turned towards the bed, “I told you, no! You want to celebrate, you go and visit your mother and sister stay awhile, then I’ll meet you at Emmett’s and from there we’ll go to Babylon.”

 

Justin following Brian to bed, “Brian! Please, we can go to my mom’s together just for awhile.” Brian, lying in bed, “I said no. Why Sunshine? So that way I can behave like the perfect son-in-law and you the perfect little wife.”

 

Justin smiles and is playful with Brian, “No! I am not a fucking wife.” Followed by many, many hours of hot sex. (We all have seen Brian and Justin’s sex scenes so just close your eyes and reminisce. If by any chance you never seen them, I suggest you use your own imagination.)

Brian lying in bed smoking his favorite treat, Justin resting on Brian’s left arm and playing with his chest.

 

“Brian!”

“What?”

“Why can’t we go to my mom’s just for awhile?”

“How many times are we going to have this conversation Sunshine? We are not married, we are not a couple of heteros and we are not going. Now go to sleep, I need to get up early tomorrow and go to the office. Unless you are up for another!.”

 

Brian kisses Justin passionately, “You are going to work tomorrow!” “Yes! I need to finish this ad campaign and since tomorrow the office is going to be closed, I will have plenty of time to make the necessary arrangements to have everything ready for Monday. So! We can fuck our brains out all weekend.”

 

Still kissing Justin passionately, Justin gets all turned on again and goes down on Brian. Brian finishes the scene by fucking Justin once more while he falls asleep with Brian still inside him.

 

================================================

 

Thanksgiving day arrives.

 

This scene takes place around noon.

 

Brian entering the loft, Justin still in bed, “Sunshine!”

 

Brian throws his briefcase on the sofa and taking off his coat, “Sunshine you’re still in bed?” Brian falls on top of Justin, “You’re still sleeping my beautiful wife!”

Justin covering himself with the bed sheets, “Fuck off!”

 

Brian gets up from the bed and starting to undress, “Get up Sunshine! If you are planning to go to your mother’s, I suggest you get up and take a shower. Better yet! Lets take a shower together before I go to the gym and meet the guys.”

 

Justin tears himself from the comfort of the bed, and half asleep follows Brian to the shower.

 

“Sunshine, what will it be? Are you going to your mother’s or finish your school project? Remember it’s due next week and you are not even half way thru.” Brian soaps Justin’s back.

“Thanks to you Brian!”

“Me! Why me? I only fuck you. I don’t tie your hands or prevent you from doing what you know what to do best.”

“Really!” Justin moves to face Brian and adds while his hand trails Brian’s hard cock, “And what do I do best Mr. Kinney?”

“Well! Let me refresh my memory Mr. Taylor. Ah! It’s all coming back to me.”

 

After an hour of shower bliss, Brian and Justin are getting ready to go out. Brian is going to the gym and Justin to his mom’s home.

 

“Don’t forget to take the Portobello, to Mrs. Taylor and thank her for the invitation.”

“What am I suppose to tell my mom? Mr. Kenny, cause you are not going to the dinner.”

“Tell her, whatever the fuck? Fuck if I care!”

“Brian! She is my mom?”

“So! I only fuck you. I am not your husband.” Brian kisses Justin and they leave the loft.

 

In Brian’s car, “Thanks for the wine, it was very generous of you to buy it.” 

“No sweat! Everything for Mrs. Taylor or rather mom.”

“Brian! Don’t be such an asshole.

 

 

“Well Sunshine! We are here. Give my regards to your mother, I expect you to be at Emmett’s and then ready for Babylon. That is, if you want to be fucked like there is no tomorrow.”

“I’ll be there, but I am not sure you will be up for it, you being so old.”

 

Brian smiled sarcastically, “See you dear!”

 

=================================================

 

Mrs. Taylor’s home.

 

After spending the afternoon helping his mother, spending time with Molly and chatting with Daphne on the phone for an hour, dinner is served.

 

“How long are we going to wait for Brian, Justin?”

“Brian is not coming mom.”

“Why? Aren’t Molly and I good company for Mr. Kinney.”

“It is not that mom, Brian just doesn’t believe in family gatherings or displays of affection. He says it is too hetero or rather only straight people use this day to do what they are supposed to do year round.”

 

“I’m not staying long. I still need to go to Emmett’s and meet Brian. We are going to Babylon.”

“Justin, you spend way to much time in that place. You need to rest, and have proper nutrition to be able to perform well in school and in life, sweetie.”

“Mom! I am not a child. I know what I am doing, besides if Brian is able to do it so am I! I am younger.”

“Justin! What kind of reasoning is that? Brian is a grown man. He has a job, he is his own boss, so however he performs in his job is his own decision, but you are still young and inexperienced.” “Mom! May we not discuss this any further?”

Dinner is uneventful; and Jennifer takes Justin to Emmett’s. 

 

After many exchanges of sarcastic remarks between Brian and the boys, they are off to Babylon to party. Monday comes and things go back to normal working, partying while waiting for the weekend.

 

Brian and Justin had another argument over celebrating Christmas with family. Justin goes to Jennifer’s then to Debbie’s and they both finish the night at Babylon fucking and partying.


	2. The Promise of a Day

New Years Eve!

 

Brian and Justin waking up together.

Brian makes passionate love to Justin for breakfast and Justin finds himself looking into Brian’s eyes.

 

“What? Taylor.”

“Nothing! I just love looking myself in your eyes.”

“How romantic? Turn around, I want to finish the year fucking you and to begin the year fucking you.”

“Brian! Can we stay home today? Just the two of us doing nothing but like you say finishing the year fucking each other and beginning the year the same.”

“Mmmm! No! We will fuck some more, then we are off to the gym. You need to lose these extra pounds you picked up during the holidays.”

Brian pocking Justin in the stomach,

 

 

“Brian cut it out!”

Justin moving away from Brian,

 

“Why? I don’t want you to become one of those wives that with time get all chubby and lose their figure.”

Brian smiling and playful,

 

Justin throwing a pillow to Brian’s face,

“I am not your fucking wife. And, I am not going to gain any weight. I am going to be beautiful forever.”

 

Brian extending his arms towards Justin,

“Come here Sunshine! I want to give you something.”

 

Justin’s face lights up and goes to Brian,

 

“Here! Eat this!”

Brian shoves Justin’s face towards his member.

 

“Brian! I thought………”

Justin disappointed moves away from Brian.

 

“You thought, What Sunshine? That I had a ring for you like your beloved Ethan had once for you.”

Brian gets up to get a join. After lighting it, he moves away from the bed and he goes to the bathroom to piss.

 

Justin sitting at the edge of the bed almost with tears in his eyes,

“No! I wasn’t expecting a ring. And since when do you remember Ethan?”

 

Brian comes back from the bathroom to the bedroom. Justin tries to hold the tears.

Brian’s face turns compassionate for a second; he wants to go and kiss Justin and to ask forgiveness for his hurtful remark. Instead, he starts to get ready to go to the gym.

 

“No! I don’t remember your dreamy eyes schoolboy. But for your attitude, I think you are remembering him.”

Brian finishes zipping his pants.

 

Justin summoning all the strength he could master.

“No! For your information, I don’t care for Ethan. I never did care for him. But, I did care for the idea of romance. I did care for the music, the breakfast in bed, the flowers, the fact that I did not had to spend all of my time at Babylon but must of all I care for spending time with you together away from others and enjoying each other company. That Brian! That is, what I care for? Not, Ethan, or any one else who may promise those things for me. But, the idea of doing all those things with you, Brian.”

 

Brian looking away and hardening his face,

“I thought, we had an understanding when we got back together. I thought you have learned your lesson that none of those things are real. That those things are just dreams and fantasies that heteros use to give meaning to their lives and excuse each other from the lies and deceiving behavior.”

 

Brian takes his gym bag and storms out stopping at the door.

“I’ll be at the gym. If you want to come, I will talk to the receptionist and get you a membership.”

Then without another look at Justin he leaves the loft.

 

Justin still standing next to the bed unable to control the tears any longer collapses in the bed.

=================================================

 

At the Gym,

Brian working furiously at the gym, the guys are teasing him.

 

Ted, “What’s wrong Brian? Had a fight with the misses.”

Everyone laughs,

 

Brian, “Fuck off!”

 

Michael more understanding, “If you keep working like that you may hurt yourself Brian. What is wrong?”

 

Brian getting up from the weight lifting machine,

“None of your fucking business Mickey.”

 

Brian leaves to the steam room.

Michael follows Brian to it.

 

“What Michael?”

“Nothing! Just I like to know, why are you so pissed off?”

Both sitting down at the relaxing bench,

 

“No reason! I got the right to be piss if I want to. No reason necessary.”

“Okay! Just don’t chew my head off.”

Michael smiling,

 

“So! How are things between you and the professor?”

“So far so good! I cannot complain. You know! We are planning a sexcapade to New York.”

“Really! And what the fuck are you going to do in New York?”

“Well! Ben says, he is making us reservations at the Waldorf Astoria and then upon arriving we are going to go and have dinner at the starlight restaurant in Fifth Avenue.

 

“You know the kind where there is candle lights and expensive dessert, soft music and may be some dancing but no the kind we do here in Babylon but the hold each other dear kind a dance.”

 

“Sounds pathetic!”

Brian looked away with his own memories on mind.

Looking back at Michael,

“Then what?”

 

“Well! If you are interested, Ben said we are going to the opera and catch some movie festival that is playing right now in New York. I don’t know has to do with some classes Ben is teaching this year.”

 

“I tell you Mickey. You are pathetic.”

“I may be pathetic but I am a happy pathetic man. Beat that Brian! I am out of here Ben is waiting for me. We are going to mom’s then we will go home and stay in to wait for the New Year in each other’s arms.”

 

“You are so pathetic Mickey.”

Brian closing his eyes remembering Justin’s face asking for the same thing.


	3. The Promise of a Day

Back at the loft,

After a few hours of just lying in bed all covered in tears Justin got up and went to take a shower.

 

While in the shower, he closed his eyes trying to remember the first time he met Brian. A smile forms in his lips. Brian, there he was looking at him. Justin had finished talking to a hustler who wanted to take him home and he walked away and stopped under a street lamp. There he was - this handsome dark-haired man looking at him. Justin remembers how playfully he leaned on the light post while this handsome man was cruising him. Justin started to remember the feelings of excitement and anticipation. The anticipation that comes from the uncertainty of not knowing if someone is going to talk to you, or you need to do something else to catch his attention. It didn’t take long for the man to come to him and to invite him to go off some place with him. Justin’s first pick up, the first time he visited Liberty Avenue.

 

Justin himself was not sure that he was gay. But all these feelings he had inside gave him the courage to go and take a walk on Liberty Avenue, although for a second he had his doubts about leaving the security of home and coming to this strange place.

But once his eyes met Brian’s he knew. Justin knew Brian was the man he wanted to be all his life despite the terror he felt inside.

 

Justin began to arouse himself in the shower and he found himself masturbating as the images of his first encounter with Brian were flooding his mind. He relived his first time, how Brian was stroking his member and telling him no to come. Then the phone call, and he came to soon and stained Brian’s expensive duvet. Justin was smiling and playing with himself at his memories of the events of that night. Brian took him to the hospital and shared the birth of his child. The fact that Brian asked his opinion on the names Lindsay and Melanie were debating over for his newborn baby. Justin had shared this special moment and not Michael. Justin was the one who decided what name Brian’s baby would have.

 

Justin opened his eyes and exclaimed, “Wow!”

Muttering to himself, I guess that is a very special and romantic gesture on Brian’s part. Brian allowed him to choose his son’s name even before they knew each other well. That is romantic Justin thought closing his eyes once more. He transported himself to the moment when they were alone again at the loft and Brian made love to him. Brian was the one who was careful to penetrate him with love and care despite the drugs Brian had taken earlier. Brian was the one, who went inside him slowly and gently if it had been only the drugs? Justin opened his eyes once more and said, “If it had been the drugs, Brian would not have treated me with care, he would only wanted to satisfy himself and go to sleep.”

 

But not that wasn’t the case Brian did satisfy Justin’s needs also. Brian did not fall asleep first; Justin was the one who felt asleep while Brian still inside him. I guess that was pretty romantic too. Brian allowed him to fall asleep while he was still penetrating him and was not offended by that.

 

Then, Brian went after him to New York when he ran away. If that was not fucking romantic then what was. Brian had never gone after any tricks before. Justin realized someone else in this situation would have called the police, canceled the credit card and let justice take it’s course. But, Brian did not do that. He went to look for him. Granted he was supposed to pay for the money he spent, but even then Brian never did ask for the money at all. All the money he earned at the diner he spent on himself not a cent to Brian. 

 

Then Justin’s eyes opened wide and a smile appeared on his face just like the rays of the sun were coming from his mouth. Justin remembered the most romantic gesture Brian had ever done for him - prom night. He didn’t remember the details of that night but the fact that Brian showed up when he had said he wasn’t going to was romantic. Daphne had told him in many occasions that it was like the Cinderella’s ball.

 

Brian was a romantic at heart but his romance was not the kind of flowers or music. His romantic side was one where he did special concessions for the people he loved the most. Now Justin understood. Brian not only loved him deeply but he had given him the romance he was craving all along. Justin just did not realize it. Brian’s romancing was not the type that had labels of what everyone expected to be romance, but never the less he was romantic. Justin finished his shower with a happy face and hope in his eyes.

=================================================

 

After the gym, Brian found himself walking in the streets aimlessly. He was smoking while walking and without realizing it he came upon the entrance of St. James Academy. He looked up and with a smile he realized he had just ended up where all his troubles had started. Brian knew he had picked up Justin outside Babylon, but his real trouble of letting Justin go started at St. James Academy. The night Brian picked up Justin, it was just another pretty face trick to him. Even when he took Justin to the hospital, he did it cause he felt compelled to do so. Justin had said to him “I can’t go home, my parents think I am at a friend’s house.” This 17-year-old boy amused Brian and he decided to keep him a little longer - after all he had not fucked him yet. No reason to waste a good trick just because Lindsay had just given birth!

 

But why did he ask him for his opinion about what name to give his son? Oh! Yes! He remembered it was because he wanted to piss off Melanie. Brian had enjoyed the look on Melanie’s face when he asked Justin to choose the name of his son. Then waking up after that night, that was the worst. Justin was nothing but a trick that had spent the night and it was time for him to go. But some one had to take him to school - the boy needed a ride. Looking again at the empty buildings of St. James Academy brought back the memory of Justin pleading face “When can I see you again?”

 

There! That particular moment Brian had experience an array of feelings. Feelings that no one else before had stirred in him not even sweet Michael. It had taken him a while, before answering Justin “Yes! In your dreams” and for the first time he regretted saying those words.

 

Brian had seen the pain in Justin’s face and he melted. His heart had skipped a beat. At that moment on Brian’s philosophy of “No excuses! No apologies! No regrets!” had been shaken to its foundation, because he felt regret at the words he just said to Justin. That was the day Brian’s life was changed forever.

 

‘Damn Justin!’ Thought Brian to himself. ‘Why can’t Justin realize how much he means to me?’ Brian shook his head and lit up another cigarette. ‘Damn Justin! Justin!’ His life will be a lot easier if Justin had not come into it. Again the regrets, since he had met Justin his life had been full of regrets, apologies and sometimes excuses.

 

“Fuck you Justin!” Brian said out loud.

“Fuck you Justin!” Brian screamed throwing his cigarette away, picked up some stones and started throwing them towards the building. 

“Fuck you Justin! Fuck you Saint James Academy!” Brian began to run again aimlessly. He ended up at the bar where Daphne had come to give him the news that Justin had run away to New York. After the fight with Justin for forgetting to set the alarm, he had gone to Woody’s to forget about Justin. It was not really that he was pissed because Justin forgot to set the alarm. He had done the same thing countless times before. The reason he was so pissed was cause he got a scare. When he saw his apartment emptied out, the first thing that came to his mind was Justin. Where was Justin? He could be hurt! And it scared him. The idea that he had care more for this boy than his precious imported material possessions was more that he could handle.

 

Granted that people came first than things, however the pain he felt for Justin’s safety was unbearable. He had been worried about Michael so many times before, when they were in school and the bullies would always came after Mickey. But he never felt as scared as he felt for Justin’s life. He had seen the perfect opportunity to get rid of the boy. And may be get rid of all these feelings that were scaring the shit out of him.

 

Then Daphne had come to tell him that Justin had run away. ‘Fucking boy! What the hell was he thinking? Didn’t he know that going off to a big city like New York was dangerous?’ Well before, Mysterious Marilyn or even Debbie told him to go after Justin he had already made up his mind to go and to look for this stupid boy. But he had no idea how to break the news to his friends without giving them the opportunity to ridicule him; Debbie gave him the perfect solution. Why had he allowed this blond boy to fuck his life the way he had? Why had he fallen in love with Justin?

 

“Why? Why?”

 

Brian stopping to gasp for air, he felt suffocated. He loved Justin. He loved Justin more than life itself. The memory of his attempt suicide when he turned 30 came to mind. ‘Damn Michael!’ Why did he have to show up at his place and save his life? He could have ended it there and none of the pain he had experience since meeting Justin would have mattered.

 

Still walking, he stopped and stood in the parking lot outside the building were the prom was held. The Prom, the most magical night of his life and most terrible at the same time, he sat on the sidewalk, closed his eyes and started to remember the day Justin asked him to the prom. He had look at him and for a moment he wanted to kiss and hold him tight and tell him ‘Yes, Justin I will go to the prom with you.’ But instead, he told him to go and find himself a girl to take. Then Justin answered, “I don’t want a girl. I want you. I want to go with someone I care for and if it happens to be a boy so fuck them.”

 

At the moment, Brian’s heart melted for the second time. This brave boy, a young boy who wanted to play grown up, was willing to endure the humiliation of being ridicule if he showed at the prom with a male date. Again, he wanted to hold him and kiss him. But instead, he cut it off once more and hurt him with his sarcastic comments.

 

When he confided in Lindsay about Justin’s invitation, he said felt like a little boy to whom candy had been offered, but he had been terrorize so much before for asking for candy that now the was too scare to take it. Brian closed his eyes and cursed his father’s alcoholism and his mother inability to love. If only he knew how to love and be loved. Brian's feelings scare him so much that he took a chance that may have ended his life to make them go away. 

 

But Mickey had told him he had not lost his powers. May be! May be! He had the ability to love and be loved. Oh! How much he wanted to be loved by Justin and he wanted to show Justin that he loved him more than his own life. He wanted so much to love someone and be loved that for the first time Brian let his guard down and decided to go to the prom and surprise Justin. The most magical night of his life, Brian thought to himself once more.

 

Yes! It was pure magic. Everyone on the dance floor disappeared to Brian it was only he and Justin and the music. Ridiculously romantic music, a smile was forming in Brian’s face while his eyes were closed remembering the dance and the kiss in the dance floor. Justin, with his delicious red strawberry lips, Brian moved his hand to his own lips and began to caress them savoring once more Justin’s flavor in his mouth.

 

Then Justin’s playfulness in the parking garage came to his mind. Brian kept his eyes closed reminiscing at how Justin’s face looked. He was very happy - his face reminded Brian of summer days at the country and the rays of sunshine dancing playfully among the trees. Justin’s face was all lit up and he realized why Debbie called him Sunshine. Justin’s smile was pure Sunshine, and then the horror came to his mind flooding him with despair, feeling lost and vulnerability.

 

Chris Hobbs was attacking his beloved Justin. The blood was pouring from Justin’s head endlessly. His entire body shaking, Brian opened his eyes and he was gasping for air again. He stood up and began to run again. He needed to run to get away from the pain. From the terror of almost losing Justin, just because he wanted to feel loved. Then the child in him returned, the child that has been denied loved and had been punished for asking for it.

The child that had lived his life in constant fear because his parents were fucked up, he had grown up fucked up, too.

 

No love for Brian Kenny from his family. And now that he had dared to accept the love Justin offered him, he had been punished. He did not mind being punished himself but why punish Justin too? What wrong has Justin done? Jennifer’s words started to sound in his mind once more. ‘If you really care for my son as I think you do, leave him alone. Give me my son back!’ Debbie had said those words to him many times, too.

 

Maybe, he was not destined to know love.

Maybe, he was not supposed to love someone.

Maybe, just maybe Debbie and Jennifer were right.

He was no good for Michael or Justin.

 

How much it pained him to see Justin suffer! But he was so afraid to tell Justin with words how much he loved him. The only time he had allowed himself to be romantic and accept love, he almost lost it. Justin had end up in a coma for three days in a hospital and he could have lost the movement of his hand, but thank God he is better now.

 

The first time Justin walked away from him, he almost died inside. He felt so much fear that he might lose Justin again.

 

But, Justin wanted so much.

Justin was asking for too much.

Justin wanted things that it was hard for him to give.

Why couldn’t Justin see all that he had gone through and give him a break?

 

He wanted so much to please Justin, damn boy.

Fucking Justin! Things always had to be Justin’s way.

Finally, Brian stopped in front of a Chinese restaurant.

 

He was drained. Emotionally exhausted. He just wanted to go home and closed his eyes and feel Justin next to him. He would find a solution to all of Justin’s demands.

He would figure out the way to give Justin what he wanted but right now, he just wanted to go home to Justin. He ordered some food to go and began to walk towards home when a familiar sound crosses his ears.

 

Violin music!

 

Damn Ethan, he thought to himself and he look up to see who was playing. To his relief, it was an old man playing music. Why was he so jealous of Ethan?

Justin was his, no Ethan’s. No one else could take Justin away from him again.

 

But then, a terrifying thought crossed his mind. Brian knew that Justin loved him and only him. That was the only reason he let go of Justin in the first place when he found out about him cheating with Ethan. Brian knew that Justin was cheating on him not because he did not love him but because he wanted more and Brian could not give him what he wanted. Brian knew that Ethan was just temporary because the only reason Justin was attracted to him was for the promise of romance.

 

The romance that according to Justin was lacking in their life Damn Justin and his fairy tale dreams, the only thing that terrified Brian the most was that Justin still was hanging on to the fairy tales. Justin kept demanding a fairy tale life and only these dreams were able to keep Justin apart from him. Only these dreams could take Justin away from him again.

 

Brian finally stopped at the entrance of the loft and let go a sight of relief. Well, he would find a way to give Justin his fairy tale life. He certainly did not want to go through being without him again, not even one moment. 

 

Brian opened the elevator door and walked towards the door.

He had come to the decision to spend the night with Justin at home and to give him his romantic dinner, even if it was just Chinese take-out.


	4. The Promise of a Day

Brian hesitated before entering the loft. He took a deep breath, checked the food in his hand and braced himself for what was next. He opened the loft’s door and went in. He stood midway between the door and the kitchen holding the bags of food.

 

Justin was sitting at the computer working on a project. He heard the door open and turned his head to see who came in. When he saw Brian, he turned back and kept working on the computer without saying a word.

 

Brian stared at him. Justin was wearing a black turtle neck shirt that Daphne had given him for Christmas, the new grey slacks that Jennifer bought him and the new pair of shoes that Molly gave him, also as a Christmas present. His blond hair was longer than usual and was barely touching the collar of his shirt. 

 

Brian couldn’t help but to admire how beautiful Justin looked. Justin had decided earlier to look his best for Brian and to try to make peace. He didn’t want to start the New Year with Brian in a mood.

 

Brian moved to the kitchen and dropped the bags in the counter.

“Have you eaten Justin?”

“Nope! I’m not hungry. I have a terrible headache.”

Brian looked at the food at the counter and after Justin replied he decided to put it away. He wasn’t hungry either. He began to walk towards Justin.

“What are you working on?”

“I’m editing the next edition of Rage. I just finished working in the drawings.”

 

Brian came closer to Justin; he stood behind him and began to outline his upper body without touching him. He felt Justin tensing and he decided not to go any further. He moved away towards the bedroom and went on to take a shower. Half-hour later, he came out of the shower. Justin was still working on the computer.

“Brian! Michael called you while you were out. He was worried because you weren’t answering your cell. Where were you?” 

“I was just taking a walk. I left my cell in my gym back which is in my locker in the gym.”

 

After an awkward pause, Brian walked to Justin and he stood in front of him. “What did Mickey want?”

Justin was too distracted to answer him. But Brian did not move and waited for Justin to answer. Justin looked up and saw Brian standing in front of him waiting for something. He was still wet and the towel around his waist was slipping.

 

“Do you want something Brian?” He asked while turning his attention back to his project.

“Why did Mickey call?

 

“Oh right! I’m sorry; I got too caught up with this dialogue. He wanted to ask you if you want to go to New York. They all are going to celebrate New Year’s in Time Square.”

 

Brian looked at Justin for a moment; he looked so handsome when he concentrated. His face would always tense and his baby blue eyes would be looking intensely at whatever particular thing that was holding his attention. Brian turned around and went back to the bedroom to change.

 

“Who else is going besides Michael and the professor?”

“What, Brian?”

“I said who else is going?”

“Oh! Everyone. I mean Ted and Emmett, Michael and Ben. They also invited Lindsay and Melanie they are taking Gus too.”

 

Brian thought about it for a minute and decided it would be good for them to go. It would be romantic to take the trip to New York and celebrate in Time Square. Justin would like that. 

 

“You want to go Justin”

 

Justin looked up surprise that Brian had even bothered to ask him. Brian had finished getting dressed. He was wearing his new black jeans, they looked a little too tight but Brian always liked to wear his jeans tight. Jennifer had bought them for Brian as a Christmas present, and she had said that if they were too tight to let her know and she would exchange them. Brian looked hot wearing the dark green see-thru shirt Justin gave him for Christmas. It brought out a hint of green in his hazel eyes. His dark brown hair needed to be cut but he looked great with his hair long and messy.

 

Brian looked back at Justin waiting for an answer. Justin returned his attention to the computer and replied, “Sure. Whatever. I don’t really care.” He was trying to sound casual and uninterested.

“Just let me finish up here and I’ll be ready to go.”

 

“We should get a move on if we want to make it to New York before midnight.” Brian added while combing his hair, “I think I need a hair cut.”

Justin turned off the computer, got up from the desk and looked at Brian.

“You look great! I am ready.”

================================================

 

Brian and Justin left the loft in silence and did not speak or look at each other during the trip form Brian’s loft to Melanie’s house. Everyone was already waiting at Lindsay and Melanie’s home. “It’s about time you two showed up!” Melanie said irritated.

“Mel! There’s still time for us to get to New York before midnight.” Lindsay added apologetically while closing the front door.

 

Because Brian’s car was too small for all of them, they decided to drive Melanie’s Explorer. Since Brian was the designated driver, Justin sat in the front seat. Melanie and Lindsay sat in the last row to have enough space for them and Gus. Michael and Ben as well as Ted and Emmett sat in the middle seats.

Melanie “What’s wrong Sunshine? You seem a little too quiet.”

 

Justin forcing a smile, “ I have a headache. I guess my allergies are acting up.” 

“Hey! I have some Tylenol” Emmett added sounding really cheery. 

 

“Are you crazy?” Brian exploded “Are you trying to kill Justin?”

“Why? I only offered him some Tylenol. He has a headache and nothing is better than Tylenol.”

“Justin is allergic to Tylenol” Brian added looking at Justin.

“Wow! You remembered.” Justin exclaimed looking back at Brian.

 

“And why would he forget Sunshine,” added Lindsay. “When you live with someone and especially if you love that person, we always remember the smallest details.”

Michael laughing added, “Yes! But Brian doesn’t love anyone.”

“Shut up! Michael” Brian said out loud.

Brian took another look at Justin. Justin was looking out the window not paying attention at what was going on inside the car.

 

Brian looked at the road.

While Ben began to add, “If you must know. It has been a proven fact that our subconscious…………….” Ben’s words began to fade from Brian’s consciousness.

 

Justin was lost in his own thoughts.

Looking outside the window, the scenery was passing by like phantoms in a dream.

What was wrong? Justin could not put his finger on it. Brian had not touched him since he stormed out of the loft this morning. He had not made any attempt to kiss him or pull him close. Maybe Brian was planning on dumping him. Brian was very pissed at him for his insistence on trying to be romantic.

 

Brian was also lost in his own fears.

Justin seemed so distant. Had he pushed Justin too far this time? Was Justin planning to leave him again? Justin had been so cold in his answer, when Brian asked him if he wanted to go to New York.

 

Justin turned his head to face Brian. Brian seemed lost in his thoughts.

Brian, sensing Justin’s gaze turned also, and they both locked eyes on each other.

Justin was the first to look away. Brian felt pain. He looked into Justin’s eyes and saw only sadness was there. Brian looked once more at the road. He wanted so much to tell Justin he will try to be romantic for him because he loved him too much to keep on hurting him.

 

‘Fuck!’ Thought Brian. Looking once more at Justin, Brian grabbed him by the neck and pulled him towards him. Justin was glad to feel Brian’s hands on him once more. He let Brian pull him without hesitation. Justin rested his head on Brian’s lap and Brian began to play with his blond hair and to caress his face. Justin just allowed himself to enjoy Brian’s caresses.

 

Hey you guys! No fucking in my car.”

 

“Fuck off Melanie!” Brian responded.


	5. The Promise of a Day

They finally arrived at New York before midnight. Brian dropped everyone at Time Square and he went to park the car in the closest available parking lot.

 

“Justin! Are you coming with me to park the car?"

“Sure! Brian”

Okay! Guys we’ll see you near the ball. Everyone was laughing and cheering. Brian and Justin drove away.

 

“Wow! Did any one else notice the tension?” Melanie asked.

“Are you kidding?” Lindsay added while struggling to strap Gus in the stroller. 

“Something is up with those two. Brian was acting really weird at the gym this morning.” Ted shared, with a smirk in his face.

“Well! I’m no genius but I am sure those two had a major showdown this morning.” Emmett added while kissing and holding on to Ted.

 

“Yeah! Emmett I am sure you’re right. Sunshine was so quiet and Brian, well that’s a first for Brian, he barely spoke, I can only think of about three remarks during the entire trip.” Melanie added while kissing Lindsay.

 

Meanwhile! Brian found a parking garage open about ten blocks away from Time Square. He paid the attendant and drove in to find a space. He found one closed to the elevators on the third floor. He turned the engine off and the tension between him and Justin grew heavier. After a few seconds, Brian turned to face Justin while running his fingers through Justin’s hair and caressing his face.

 

“How is your headache, Sunshine?”

“Better! Brian I am ……………”

 

Brian stopped Justin mid sentence with his kiss. Before they knew it, they were on each other, making out with all the passion they felt. Afterwards, satisfied by each other’s kisses, Brian got out of the car and went to open Justin’s door. Justin was surprise at this gesture. He was still inside the car smoothing his hair when he saw Brian opening his door. Justin smiled his sunshine smile and Brian felt satisfaction. He thought to himself, ‘I am the luckiest man because he is mine and only mine.’ Justin just felt special because Brian had done something he would never expect.

They both began walking towards Time Square and the group, Justin holding on to Brian’s right arm.

 

“Justin! I’m not going any where.”

“Why?”

“Well either you are trying to dislocate my arm or maybe prevent me from running away.”

“Ooops!”

 

Brian stopped to kiss Justin, leaning him against the window of one of the many stores along the street. 

“What Brian?”

 

“Nothing Sunshine! You have the ugliest baby blue eyes, I have ever seen.”

“I do”

“Yes Mr. Taylor you do, and what is worst your face is breaking out with acne.”

“You liar. My face is just perfect. I have the most perfect and angelical face.”

 

“Really! Who is been feeding you those lies.”

“You!”

“Me! I don’t recall ever saying such things to you.”

“No in so many words. But, your actions speak louder than your words.”

“Do they?”

 

“Hey Brian! Justin! We’re over here.” Michael was screaming from the other side of the street. Brian and Justin crossed the street to join the group. Ben pointed to one of the raised platforms, “I think we can watch the ceremonies from over there.”

 

Everyone moved to take a place at the platform. Justin and Brian were very playful with each other. “Sunshine, are you feeling better? How about your allergies?” Lindsay asked concern.

“I feel better Lindsay. Brian just gave me the perfect medicine for my allergies and headache.” Justin replied while Brian kept grabbing at his groin.

“Yeah! I know the best cure for any type of allergies, specially headaches.” Brian added kissing Justin passionately in the mouth.

 

“Get a room!” Melanie added while touching her stomach.

“Are you alright Melanie?” Lindsay asked concerned while looking at her partner’s gestures.

“I am so fucking hungry!” Justin mentioned as he was looking at the crowd below getting increasingly more rowdy as the stroke of midnight neared.

 

“I am alright Lindsay. It’s just this fucking pregnancy, I need to go and pee.”

“Well, I’m going to get something to eat. I saw a hot dog stand about half a block away and a Starbucks café in front. So if you want to come along and maybe they will let you use the facilities, Melanie.” Brian offered.

 

“Thanks Brian!”

“I’ll go too. Gus needs to be change.” Lindsay added.

“So! What do you want Justin?”

“Bring me two hot dogs with everything hold the onions. Oh! I also want Irish cream coffee.”

Brian smiled and added, “I have your Irish cream right here” grabbing Justin’s hands and directing them towards his member.

Justin laughed and kissed Brian.

 

“Any one else want anything? I want to be back before the fucking ball drops to the floor,” Brian asked before leaving to go and get the food.

 

Coming back to join the group, Brian was carrying two food trays. Melanie and Lindsay were fussing about Gus and Melanie’s stomach.

 

Up front Brian could hear the sirens and see many police cars, fire trucks and paramedics moving among the crowd. “Lindsay, it looks like something happened!” Melanie spoke while taking over the stroller. Brian realizing that an accident had occurred dropped the food and began to run towards the crowd. As Brian reached the accident scene, he began to scan for Justin and the rest of the group. He saw Ted and Emmett being attended by one of the paramedics, and a horrifying fear began to overtake him.

‘Justin where the hell was Justin?’

 

Brian began to search all over the place. He saw Ben and Michael going into one of the ambulances. He almost froze in fear when he saw a pair of paramedics carrying a body on one of the portable beds. It was Justin; he did not seemed cover in blood. As a matter of fact, he seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Brian screamed in terror “No!” and almost bumped one of the paramedics as he was running to grab Justin.

 

“Who are you, Sir?” One of the paramedics asked. Brian did not answer, instead grabbed Justin and began to mutter “Justin! Wake up Sunshine!”

“Sir you need to let us take him to the hospital, he is in critical condition. Do you know him?” The paramedic kept repeating to Brian.

 

“Yes!” Brian answered half awake and half in a dream. “I know him. He is my ……..” Brian hesitated “His name is Justin! Justin Taylor!”

“Are you family sir? Would you please accompany us to the hospital and gave us his information.”

 

Brian walked with the paramedic and settle next to Justin, as he was pull inside the ambulanced. He could not believe it - once more he had been punished. He was in a dream. He felt like his body was there in the ambulance but his spirit was somewhere else. Brian grabbed Justin’s hands and did not let go of them till they arrived at the hospital.

 

Once in the hospital, the paramedics rushed Justin to the emergency area and from there a pair of nurses took Justin to an operating room. Brian was following behind Justin but was blocked by one of the security guards.

 

“Sir, you cannot go into this area. This area is restricted.”

“Fuck You! I need to be with Justin.”

“Sri, please I do understand but the doctor will come and ask you a couple of questions.”

“Get out of my way! I need to be with Justin.”

“Sir, please don’t make me use force on you. I understand your pain but you need to let the doctors do their job and wait here till someone comes and asks you some questions.”

Brian almost hit the security guard but was stopped by another guard. Brian was forced to sit in the waiting room outside the emergency area.

 

“Sir!” A young female nurse called at him.

“Sir! Mr. Taylor.”

“I am not Mr. Taylor, my name is Brian. Brian Kinney.”

“Okay, Mr. Kinney I need to ask you a couple of questions about Mr. Taylor. Are you family? His father perhaps?” Brian glared at the nurse with a look that could kill.

 

“No! I am not his father. I am his lover. What the fuck are you doing? How is he doing? I need to see him.”

“I do understand what you must be feeling Mr. Kinney, but I still need to gather some information about Mr. Taylor. Does he have any allergies? Does he have insurance? Does he……………”

 

Brian began to slip into a dream as he was hearing the nurse asking all these questions. He could hear himself answering them but it was not him. It was like he had split in two. One was Brian Kinney the body and the other was Brian Kinney the spirit. The body was answering questions and making decisions but the spirit was just confused- half dead, half alive.

 

“Mr. Kinney!”

“Mr. Kinney!”

 

Brian finally roused from the dream and all the sounds in the hospital seemed louder. “Mr. Kinney! I am Dr. Cagney I will be operating on Justin. But I need an authorization, Are you next of kin to Mr. Taylor?”

“How is he Dr.?”

“Well, Mr. Kinney I must admit that Justin is in critical condition. He is suffering from a broken spine and I need to operate immediately, but first I need to get authorization from a next of kin. Are you next of kin Mr. Kinney?”

“I am his gay lover doctor, if that doesn’t make me next of kin. I don’t know what will. He is only 19 years old and his mother is in Pittsburgh.”

 

“Most unfortunate!” The doctor began to think.

“Does his mother know who you are Mr. Kinney?”

“Yes, doctor. she knows who I am.”

“Okay, I need you to sign for now but I will need to see her as soon as possible.” Brian, without stopping to think or hesitating, signed the form and went to look for a pay phone to call Jennifer Taylor.


	6. The Promise of a Day

Brian found the nearest pay phone and began to dial Mrs. Taylor number.

 

“Hello!”

“Hello!”

“Hello! Is there anyone on the line?” Jennifer was asking after there was no response to his first answer.

 

“Mrs. Taylor, it’s Brian. Brian Kinney.”

“Yes Brian, what’s wrong? Where is Justin?”

“Brian? Brian! Brian are you there?”

 

After a long pause, which seemed like an eternity to Jennifer, Brian answered.

“Mrs. Taylor, I am calling from New York. There has been an accident and Justin………..”

 

Another long pause, “What about Justin? Brian.”

“Brian!”

“Brian! Please, talk to me what about Justin?”

 

“Justin is in surgery, he needs you here. The doctors need you here. Justin is at the Memorial Hospital here in New York.”

Jennifer dropped the phone and almost fell to her knees. Why? Why? Why does Justin always end up in the hospital with Brian?

After the initial shock, she hung up the phone and went looking for Molly. She took Molly to Craig’s home. Jennifer explained to Craig that Justin was hurt, he had been hospitalizing in New York and she needed to go and stay with him. Craig agreed with her after cursing Brian, and cursing her for allowing Justin to keep living with him.

 

=================================================

 

Jennifer took the first plane to New York and arrived to the hospital in a few hours. She entered the emergency room and stopped midway when she saw Brian sitting down there looking half dead. She then walked towards Brian and restrained herself from verbally assaulting him with all her concerns.

 

“How is he, Brian?” Brian slowly picked up his head and looked at her, he had no strength left in him. “I don’t know. He has been in surgery for the past several hours.” 

Jennifer sat next to Brian. She hated him so much, she wanted to kill him and she would have if she hadn’t seen through Brian. She saw Brian’s pain. In a maternal gesture, Jennifer hugged Brian and kissed him. Brian was like a zombie. He just dropped his head in Jennifer’s shoulder; his gaze was lost in space.

 

Jennifer could not believe it. She knew Brian as a grown man full of arrogance- unapologetic, doing everything without stopping to think of the consequences. She had seen the man everyone describe as having “No excuses, no apologies, and no regrets.”

 

And now, in front of her was a child, a child in pain. After a few more minutes, Jennifer torn herself from Brian and she went to the receptionist to inquire after her son.

 

By this time, Melanie and Lindsay were walking towards Brian with Gus. Ted was walking with Emmett. Emmett was sporting a cast in his left arm. Ben and Michael were together and Michael had bandages over his head.

“Brian! How is Justin?” Michael ventured to ask.

Brian looked at Michael, “I don’t know. He still is in surgery.”

Michael tried to hug Brian and kiss him but Brian moved away began to pace.

He made one more attempt to get closer to Brian only to be rejected again.

 

Jennifer came back from the Nurses’ station.

“The nurse on duty could not tell me anything.”

She sighed and moved towards Brian. “Thanks! Brian.”

Brian looked at her with a blank stare, then she moved closer and they both embrace each other.

 

She whispered, “Thank you for taking care of all his information. Thank you for remembering all his allergies. Thank you for loving my boy the best you can.”

Michael felt jealousy, why was Brian accepting Jennifer’s comfort while refusing his? Michael did not liked the feeling of been rejected by Brian in these circumstances.

 

After almost 16 hours of surgery, Dr. Cagney finally appeared.

“Mrs. Taylor! I am Dr. Cagney. Could you please follow me to my office.”

Brian let go of Jennifer and she walked away with the doctor. Then she stopped and turned to face Brian. “Are you coming Brian?”

Brian began to walk towards the doctor and Jennifer.

================================================

 

Jennifer and Brian sat down in front of Dr. Cagney’s desk in his office.

 

“Mrs. Taylor there is no easy way to tell you this. I have good news and I have bad news.” Jennifer reached out and clutched Brian’s hands, preparing for the worst.

 

“How is my son Dr.?”

“Mrs. Taylor your son is a young man. He was admitted with a broken spine. So far as the surgery went, it was without complications but we still need to observe him closely. I am hoping for the best as the next few days are critical.”

Jennifer looked at Brian asking for an explanation but Brian himself knew nothing of how the accident happened.

“Like I said Mrs. Taylor, I have hope in your son’s recovery from surgery but ……”

“But what Dr.?”

 

At this point, Brian showed no emotions. He was again in a dream like state. Half of him was sitting down in front of the doctor, the other half was wondering through space.

“But Justin will never walk again, Mrs. Taylor.”

 

She gasped and clutched Brian’s hands harder and they began to bleed. Her nails had ruptured Brian’s skin. He had no feelings. He did not notice the blood coming out of his hands.

 

The doctor continued with his clinical appraisal.

“Like! I mention before, the next few days are critical. Justin’s strength has been compromise by the use of drugs and the alcohol found in his system. I have asked for an HIV test as I am hoping he is not positive. If he comes out negative, well he has a better chance to recover. But there is no hope of him walking again.”

 

Jennifer was furious, she new about the alcohol but not the drugs. When she heard the words HIV positive, she almost had a heart attack. The possibility was always there, but to face it now was unbearable.

 

“Doctor, may I see my son now.”

“Well Mrs. Taylor, your son still is unconscious but I will see to it. I advised you to take any precautions and prepare for the worst. I am going to step out of my office to go and talk to the head nurse. I will be back to make arrangements for you to see your son.”

The moment the doctor stepped out of the office and closed the door, Jennifer got up in a rage.

 

“You fucking Brian!” She began to slap Brian in the face.

“Drugs! Drugs! Brian, what were you thinking giving drugs to my boy?”

She kept on hitting him and he did nothing to stop her or defend himself.

“Wake up you bastard! Say something!”

 

Brian looked at her, “What you want me to say Mrs. Taylor? I fucked up. I am a fucking piece of shit. What else can I said Mrs. Taylor? What is done is done and I cannot do anything about it now?”

“You better not have infected my boy!” Jennifer kept screaming and hitting Brian with all her strength. Brian sat frozen in the chair, until finally Jennifer just collapse in the chair with tears pouring down her face.

 

“I can only tell you Mrs. Taylor that I will dedicate my life to Justin. I will make sure there are no more drugs or alcohol. I will do everything in my power to protect and care for Justin.”

 

Jennifer was just silent, after awhile she added, “Brian, I know you love my Justin as much as you are capable of loving him. Also, I know too well how much he loves you. Just make sure next time, if there is ever a next time, you take better care of yourself and him. That is all I ask, Brian.”

 

They both turned toward each other. Jennifer noticed Brian’s bleeding hands.

“Brian, your hands!”

“It’s okay Mrs. Taylor. I feel no pain any more.”

The doctor came back, “Mrs. Taylor, everything has been taken care of. You may go to the ICU and you will be allowed to see your son briefly. And if you prefer you may stay in a room nearby as long as you want. We have prepared a bed for an overnight stay.”

 

“Thank you, doctor!”

“I hope Justin recovers, Mrs. Taylor.”

 

==================================================

 

Jennifer and Brian stood up, and she leaned on him heavily.

She was the first to pay a visit to Justin. Brian waited outside the ICU room. He started to feel dizzy and leaned against the wall. Then he remembered he had not eaten anything for more than a day. Brian smiled, who could think of food when his whole reason to live lay in a bed debating between life and death. 

Jennifer came out of the room, “Brian do you want to stay?”

 

Brian looked at her puzzle,

“I am afraid I do not understand, Mrs. Taylor.”

“What I mean Brian is last time Justin was in the hospital you only stayed till you knew he was out of danger. Then you visited at night when no one was around and Justin couldn’t know you were there.”

 

“I don’t want to spend a single minute away from him, Mrs. Taylor.”

“Brian I need to go back to Pittsburgh. There is Molly and a million other things I need to take care of. But I will only leave if I know you are staying with him. I know it’s not fair Brian, but if I stay here I will go crazy. There is nothing I can do for him but wait, and the waiting is what will make me go crazy.”

 

“I want to stay. I don’t want to be away from him any more, Mrs. Taylor.”

“Brian, I need to ask you for a favor.”

“What is it, Mrs. Taylor?”

“I am going to give you medical power of attorney over my son’s life.” Jennifer was looking at Brian while dropping the bomb.

 

Brian moved away in horror. He had experienced before what it meant to have power of attorney over another’s life. He remembered too well when Ted was in the hospital in a coma. And thank God he recovered. Jennifer was being unfair to him. How could she ask him for that?

 

Jennifer, seeing Brian’s hesitation added,

“I know is unfair Brian but I don’t think I have the courage to decide for my Justin’s life.” Brian looked down; he understood too well what Jennifer was talking about. She then kissed Brian and he clung to her like a child clings to his mother when he is afraid.

 

“Brian, go to Justin, I will talk to Melanie to draw up the necessary papers before I go back to Pittsburgh.”

 

Brian began walking towards Justin’s room. Jennifer left to look for Melanie.


	7. The Promise of a Day

Brian found a chair next to Justin’s bed. There he was lying on the bed, so much had happened since New Year’s Eve. He just kept staring at Justin, his body connected to all those infernal machines.

He could not think of anything. He was a Godless fag as his mother always told him. How different his mother was from Mrs. Taylor. Now more than ever he understood why Justin believed in fairy tales. Despite Craig’s recent actions, Justin probably grew up in a house where everything was a fairy tale. A loving mother, a responsible and loving father - nothing like Brian’s childhood.

Brian was about to take Justin’s hands in his when he saw the dried blood on them. He got up and went to wash his hands. Jennifer had gone mad when the doctor mentioned an HIV possibility. Brian knew they were always careful, but sometimes no matter how careful you are shit happens. Another wave of fears assaulted Brian’s mind.

After he washed his hands, he came back to Justin’s side and knelt on the floor. He had no shame, he felt no shame, and in his mind some thought began to take form.

I am not a God fearing creature. I don’t even think I believe in God myself. But if you exist, please listen to me. I won’t promise anything because promises are meant to be broken. I can only say in all honestly that I love this boy. I love him with all my strength and I don’t want to lose him. But if you decide it is his time to go, please take me, too. Because life without him will be torture. If I go on living after his death, it will be hell itself. So please God! If you are listening, the only thing I ask is for you to have pity on me and take my life if he goes.

After this Brian began to caress Justin’s face just as he had done countless times before after a night of hot and wild sex. To Brian, happiness was looking at Justin’s face when he was asleep, caressing his lips, his hair, seeing him peaceful lying next to him.

To Brian those moments were heaven itself.

Brian was still caressing Justin’s face when he began to whisper, “Sunshine! Sunshine! Sunshine listen, I love you! There is no one else in this life I would rather spend an eternity with than you.”

Brian kept repeating these words ever so softly, and then the volume began to build up. He did not notice that he was speaking loudly in Justin’s ear while kneeling at his side.

Michael was outside the ICU room looking at Brian. Michael’s jealousy overcame him and he got furious. How dared Brian be kneeling and professing eternal love to Justin? Brian had no shame. Why was Brian doing this ugly display of emotions and feelings?

Brian was mad. He had lost all self-respect. Where was the Brian he knew? The Brian who did not believe in boyfriends? The Brian who did not love anyone? Where was the Brian whose philosophy was no excuses, no apologies, and no regrets?  
Michael was horrified at the display Brian was giving. He moved away from the window and left in a rage.

Brian meanwhile had fallen asleep kneeling next to Justin.

Jennifer came back with Melanie to talk to Brian.

Melanie was detained at the nurses’ station while Jennifer went ahead to get Brian to sign the papers. Jennifer stood at the doorway looking at Brian and Justin. Her son lying in that bed with tubes coming out of his young body and Brian, kneeling, asleep next to him.

Jennifer hurried up to Brian to wake him up. She could not allow Brian’s friends to see him in this state. She knew that Brian right now was vulnerable but once Justin pulled out of danger, the old Brian would be back and take control again and she could not allow his friends to ridicule him. 

“Brian! Brian wake up!”  
Brian opened his eyes and saw Jennifer. She looked so like Justin that for a second Brian thought it was Justin.

“Justin! You are awake!”  
“No! Brian I am not Justin. I am Jennifer.”  
“Mrs. Taylor. I am sorry, I fell asleep.”

Brian began to stand up and rub his eyes to wake up more.  
Jennifer added, “It’s okay Brian. I brought Melanie to sign the papers.”

Melanie came inside the room. Gee! Brian looked like shit. His hair was uncombed, he was sporting a shadow of a beard, and his hands were all damaged, was the word that came to her mind. She had never seen Brian in this condition, not even when he had been tripping for days. Brian always took good care of himself and his hygiene.

“How are you, Brian?”  
“I seen better days, Mel!”  
“Please Brian, I need you to sign here. And here.”

Brian began signing; he did not even bother to read the documents.  
That’s a first, thought Melanie. Brian Kinney not bothering to read a document he was signing. Justin must be pretty special to Brian, so special that Brian would completely trust Mrs. Taylor.

“Well Brian, with this document you have power of attorney over Justin’s life and pretty much all the powers a parent or spouse would have.”

Brian managed to smile at Melanie, but he refrained from telling her to fuck off. Justin was the most important thing in his life right now, not worrying about what his so-called friends thought of him.  
Jennifer guessed Brian’s thoughts and she managed to smile, too. Well, she was right about something; Brian loved Justin more than she could imagine.

 

=================================================

 

After awhile everyone was saying good-bye.  
Ted, Emmett, Lindsay, Melanie, Ben had to go back to Pittsburgh - everyone had jobs and lives to go back to. Michael had offered to stay with Brian but he refused.

“Mikey, I appreciate you wanting to stay with me but no. Not this time, I want to be alone. I need you to go back with the professor and go about your lives. Also make sure you publish the next issue of Rage. Justin left everything ready to print in the computer. He had already revised the final layout for print.”

Michael was furious at Brian for shutting him out of his life like this. But he was still pissed at Brian’s display of affection for Justin, so it was better this way.  
Brian gave Jennifer the keys to the loft so she could pack him some clothes, and the key to his locker at the gym. He needed his cell.

He had already called Cynthia and asked her to take care of all his clients and meetings, he was taking an indefinite leave of absence from work until Justin recovered.

The following days passed like a nightmare. Brian was at Justin’s side 24/7. He left only to go to the restroom or, from time to time, to get water and ice during the night.

Jennifer had sent him some clothes for him and Justin. She also included a book of Justin’s favorite poems. She had said that she used to read it to Justin when he was in bed with fever or ill.

He read the poems to Justin, he talked to him at times or caressed his face and hair. At other times, he covered Justin’s face with kisses. After five days of no change in Justin’s condition, Brian fell asleep while reading. Justin opened his eyes, like one waking up from a deep sleep. He began to move his hands and his head. He looked down and saw Brian sleeping.

Justin smiled happily. Brian was at his side. He realized he was in a hospital. He tried to remember what had happened. Last thing he remembered was the fight with Brian on New Year’s Eve, the trip to New York, then the amazing kisses they had in Melanie’s car. Then yeah! He had said he was fucking hungry and Brian had offered to go and get him something to eat. Brian had left with Melanie, Gus and Lindsay. Barely ten minutes had passed since Brian left when the sound of something cracking was heard. Everyone was screaming and he felt an acute pain in his back and then darkness. He did not remember anything else till now when he woke up in this hospital with Brian at his side.  
Brian felt the bed stirring, so he woke up and saw Justin smiling at him. Just the way Justin could smile the Sunshine smile.

“You are awake, sleeping beauty!” Brian mentioned to Justin while getting up from the bed and putting the book in the nightstand.  
“How long you had been here, Brian?”  
“Not long Sunshine, I just got back from Babylon. I was bored. I had already slept with everyone there so I decided to come to New York, pay you a visit and in the process find new people to fuck.”

“Is that so?” Justin managed to say with a big smile and playfulness in his voice.  
“What are you doing with my all time favorite book of poems, Brian?”  
“Oh! That book, I needed something to help me to fall asleep and I said what the heck, might as well read this tedious book.”

Brian was standing next to Justin now and caressing his hair.  
“You don’t say!”  
“What can I say? I needed it to get to sleep before I head back home.”  
“Mmmmmmmm! Liar.” Justin added with a smile.  
“What day is today Brian?”  
“Today is the day that sleeping beauty woke up! To be more precise it is January the fifth 2004.”

“I am sleeping beauty. I thought you said I had ugly eyes.”  
“Mmmmm! What can I say, Taylor? I just call it as I see it.”  
“I have been in a coma for five days, Brian?”  
“The important thing is that you are awake, Justin!”

A nurse entered the room.  
“Good morning Mr. Kinney! Oh! I see Sunshine is awake now. Let me call the doctor, Mr. Kinney.” The nurse used the paging system to call the doctor.

“Brian! I cannot feel my legs. What’s wrong?”  
Brian, looking at him bent down and began to kiss him and whisper in his ear, “Sunshine! Sunshine!”  
The doctor enters the room. “Well! For a minute you had us worried, Mr. Taylor. We thought you would never wake up again.”

Brian moved away from Justin, and with Justin holding Brian’s right hand he said,  
“Doctor, I cannot feel my legs. What’s wrong?”

“Mr. Kinney, will you please leave me alone with the patient.”  
“Okay, doctor. I will be right back, Sunshine.”  
“No! Brian I don’t want you to go.”  
“I need to go and make a phone call, Sunshine.”  
Justin looked at him with suspicion and Brian left the room.

The doctor began to check on Justin.  
“Mr. Taylor, first of all you need to know that you have been in a coma for about five days. You arrived here at the hospital in critical condition with a broken spine. The operation was a success and now that you are out of the coma, you are on your way to recovery. But the bad news is that you will never walk again.”  
Justin felt like a brick wall just fell on him.

 

===============================================

 

Meanwhile, Brian had already called Jennifer and told her that Justin had awakened from the coma. Jennifer told him that she would arrive soon.

After some discussion with Justin about his condition and his possibilities, the doctor left the ICU room. Brian saw the doctor leave the room; he looked through the window. Justin was facing the opposite wall so he could not see his face but he could only imagine what Justin was going through. Brian let go a sigh of relief, at least Justin had pulled out of the coma. He was alive and that was all he cared about. Brian thought to himself, it is not going to be an easy road Sunshine, but together we will conquer it.

Brian walked inside the room and went to Justin’s side. Looking at him, he sat on the edge of the bed and began to caress his face like he had done so many times lately. Brian bent over to kiss him. He kissed Justin with fury and passion then laid beside him and began to caress his body as he whispered in Justin’s ear.  
“Sunshine! I want to fuck you.”

Justin turned away from him and replied, “Don’t you know? I cannot move from my waist down.”  
“So! That will not stop me from fucking your brains out.”  
“You are an asshole, Brian.”  
“So what else is new? I am an asshole who wants to fuck you.”

“Fuck off Brian!”  
“That is exactly what I want to do. Except I want to do it with you, Sunshine.”

“Don’t you get it Brian, I will never be able to walk again. I won’t ever again have erections. I might as well be dead.”  
“Don’t say that Sunshine! Never again say that you would rather be dead. What do doctors know? Or have you forgotten when they told you that you would never draw again? And now look at you, you have your own comic book.”

Justin turned around to face Brian.  
“Tell you what Sunshine: if you ever walk again, I will take you to Italy and we will have the most romantic and enchanting time. I mean night strolls, candle light dinners and the most incredible sex together.”

“You promise, Brian?”  
“Scout’s honor, Sunshine!”

Justin held tight to Brian and Brian embraced Justin.


	8. The Promise of a Day

After one week in intensive care and one more in recovery, Justin went home.  
Brian was driving Jennifer’s car and Justin was sleeping on the back seat.

Brian and Jennifer were discussing the best way to take care of Justin.

Brian pointed out to Jennifer that he was the best qualified. He could remodel the loft in a jiffy to make it wheel chair friendly, and would take care of all the medical expenditures plus the in-home nursing care and therapist.

Jennifer agreed with Brian but she could not let him take care of all the medical expenses. She went on to point out to Brian that her insurance could pay for almost half of the expenses. Brian’s insurance will not cover Justin and he would have to pay cash. After thinking it over, Brian agreed with Jennifer. She was right, his fucking insurance would not cover Sunshine’s medical bills plus all the home care expenditures. Furthermore, Jennifer proposed that Brian cut off the visiting nurse.

“Brian, if you don’t mind a little hard work, we can both take care of Justin. We can take turns and Molly could help, too. She is old enough to help to take care of her brother. We will be saving money. But we still need the therapist.”

“Hmmm! I need to talk to Ted and find out the best course of action. Moneywise, I mean, because I still think Justin needs round the clock nursing.”  
“I’m telling you Brian, we can do it. Craig can help too, after all he is his father.”

Brian looked at Jennifer and smiled sarcastically. Craig! I guess Jennifer is a dreamer too. Yep! Justin takes after her. They both believe in fucking fairy tales.

Brian remembered Craig’s behavior at the hospital. He hadn’t seen Craig since the day he took Justin away from home because he refused to let Justin be himself.

Craig had shown up with Jennifer and Molly, and the first words out of his mouth were, “What is this fag doing here?” He did not ask for Justin. Even when he went into the room to see Justin he barely talked to him. He was mainly cursing and bashing Justin with words. Brian had to restrain himself from beating him up.

“Brian! Brian!” Brian looked at Jennifer, coming back to the present.

“Yes, Mrs. Taylor.”  
“When are you going to stop calling me Mrs. Taylor. Just called me Jennifer!”  
Brian smiled at her and looked at the road.

“Anyway Brian, where is Justin going to stay for the night? I am sure you need some time to get the loft ready for Justin.”  
“The loft has been ready for almost a week, Mrs. Taylor.” Brian paused smiling, “Jennifer.”

“How can that be?”

“Well, while Justin was still in the coma, I called my contractor to start doing the necessary changes to have the loft ready.”  
After a pause, Brian looked at her and added, “You didn’t think I would not plan ahead for Justin’s well being? I told you I would take care of Justin, Mrs.. …Jennifer.”

“Thank you Brian! I’m sorry if I seem harsh towards you sometimes. I know you love my son. But ..”  
“But I am not what you want for him?” Brian added curtly.

Jennifer sensed Brian’s pain and decided to drop the subject. No need to dwell on what she wanted for Justin. He would always do what he wanted no matter what. She knew him well.

She was lost in her own thoughts. How differently things might have turned out if Justin were straight. He would never have gone through the bashing. Now this, well this accident had nothing to do with Justin been gay but still. Craig would not be so damn angry with Justin. She began to wonder what she had done wrong? Debbie had told her countless times that it wasn’t her fault, but she could not help to feel somehow guilty.

Jennifer heard Justin moan. She turned around to look at Justin and he was awake looking up the ceiling.

“How do you feel, sweetie?”  
“Like shit.”  
“Justin!” Brian and Jennifer exclaimed in unison.

“What, now I have two fucking parents?”  
“Watch your language, Sunshine.” Brian added smiling while looking at him through the rearview mirror.

Justin touched his head and added, “I have a headache!”  
“Hmmm! You have been complaining of headaches lately. We’d better tell your doctor when we get to Pittsburgh, Sunshine.”

Jennifer looked at Brian as he was watching Justin in the mirror. She could see love in his eyes, love and concern and fear. Brian Kinney with fear in his eyes. Jennifer wondered how did her little Justin manage to conquer this man.

Everyone who talked about Brian always said he was heartless. He never gave anyone an apology, or excuses for his behavior for that matter, and most of all he never regretted anything in his life. And that wasn’t what she saw in him now. Brian was a lonely boy, a boy who was starving for love and who was desperate to be loved.  
When she first met Brian, he came across the way everyone described him. But now he was different, he was changing and in part, the change came because of Justin.

 

===============================================

 

“Well, Sunshine, we’re home.” Brian said while stopping the car at the curb in front of his loft’s building. Brian got out of the car and walked to Jennifer’s side to open her door, then went to open Justin’s door. He gently pulled him out of the car and carried him in his arms all the way up to the loft.

“Brian! Do you realize that you are carrying me over the threshold?”  
Brian caught Justin’s meaning and smiled, then kissed him passionately on his mouth. Jennifer turned to the side embarrassed, she caught her son’s meaning, too.

Brian dropped Justin on the bed.  
“Wow! Brian you did a really good job of remodeling your loft for Justin’s convenience.”  
“Thanks, Mrs. … Jennifer but it wasn’t me. We owe it all to the contractor. I only paid the bill.” He went back out to get the remaining baggage from the car.

After more planning and talking about Justin’s immediate needs, Jennifer went home.

Alone at last! Brian thought. He looked towards the bedroom and there he was. Justin was lying on the bed trying to take off his clothes. He smiled. Brian was happy Justin was home, and he could take care of him. Tomorrow will be another day but tonight he would enjoy having Justin to himself. No doctors, no nurses coming and going, and definitely no one from the gang or Jennifer to bother them.

“Well, Mrs. Kinney. We are alone at last! Let me help you with your clothes, ma’am.” Brian kept talking sarcastically.

“Fuck off Brian!”  
Justin pushed him away while he kept trying to take his clothes off.  
“There is nothing wrong with a man taking his lady’s clothes off.”

“Fuck you Brian!”  
“Well that is the second thing on my mind, dear.” Brian smiled

Justin turned to look at him, “I am going to beat this Brian. I am going to walk again and then I am going to fuck you so hard that I might kill you, because you’re so old and all.”  
“Really Sunshine! We will see. But for now let me help you. Please!” Brian added softly kissing him on his forehead and hugging him tight.

After helping Justin get his clothes off, Brian did the same and walked naked to bed. Finally he was able to feel Justin’s warm body next to his. He kissed Justin all over and held him tight, and both fell asleep in each other’s arms.


	9. The Promise of a Day

The next day Brian woke up early. He took a look at Justin lying at his side and caressed his face, then kissed it all over. Justin just moved onto his side and continued sleeping.

Brian got up, put on his jeans and went to the phone to call Ted.

“Hello, Ted and Emmett’s residence.”’  
“Hey! Emmett, where’s Ted?”  
“Hello to you too Brian, Teddy is not home. He went to work at his new firm. He got a job as head accountant in the offices of Curtis and Clark Accounting and Financial Services.”

Great! Brian thought, the shmuck isn’t home.

“Emmett, could you give me Ted’s office number?”  
“Sure Brian! How is Justin?”  
“Justin is fine, now give me the fucking number.”  
“Temper! Temper! Here, it’s 555- 5555 ext. 69”

“Thanks!”  
“Brian?”  
“Yes?”  
“Are you going to see Michael today?”  
“I don’t know. Why?”  
“Well, if you see him would you tell him that Ted and I are not going to make it to Ben’s presentation? We have a little celebration of our own.”

“Why don’t you call him and tell him yourself.”  
“I tried but I cannot find him. So! If you see him will you please let him know?"  
“Sure, anything else?!”  
“Just give my regards to Justin. Ted and I are planning to visit him tomorrow if you don’t mind.”  
“Fine! Just don’t come too early and don’t stay long, Justin needs to rest.”

After hanging up with Emmett, he called Ted. His secretary answered and said he was in a meeting. He left a message to call back as soon as possible. He was getting frustrated when the door opened. It was Jennifer with some bags; he went to help her with them.

“Good morning Brian! How is Justin?”  
“Good morning. He is all right. He is still sleeping.”  
“Yeah! That boy always knew how to sleep.”

“Have you had breakfast yet?”  
“No.”  
“Well, let me prepare you something to eat. I have the morning off. Today is a slow day, I only have one appointment at 4 PM and by then Molly will be here to help you.”  
“Thanks Jen!"

Brian moved away from Jennifer while she put the food away and started to prepare breakfast. Brian made another phone call.

“Hey! Cynthia, what's going on?”  
“Brian! You’ve only been gone three weeks and Vance has made a fucking mess. The office in New York is in trouble. He is behind in two ad campaigns and he wants to talk to you right away.”  
“Fuck! Put him in the phone.”

Cynthia connected Brian with Gardner.

“Brian! When are you planning on returning to work?”  
“Gardner, what the fuck are you doing? Cynthia tells me you are behind and the office in New York is in trouble.”  
“Well, if you were here doing your job like you are supposed to be, none of this would have happened. So again, when are you returning to work?”  
“Fuck you Gardner! I’ll be back by the end of the month, but right now I will be working from home. So, you better get your ass in gear and save the New York office. I will take care of the mess here.”

Brian could not believe it. All his hard work gone down the drain because this fucking asshole wasn’t doing his job. He called Cynthia back to ask her to bring all the work to his loft and be prepared to work long hours with him. Cynthia agreed and began to get ready for Brian’s working mode.

“Brian, breakfast is ready.”  
“Okay Jen! I’ll be there in a sec.”

Phone rings.  
“Hey shmuck! I need to talk to you about my finances. Like pronto!”  
“Hey yourself, Brian. I guess I can squeeze you in during my lunch hour. I’ll come by the loft around noon. How is Justin doing?”  
“Great. Fine. Whatever, don’t forget my records!”

Brian hung up the phone and went towards the table where Jennifer had set out breakfast. Ted, on the other hand, thought: I guess Brian is going to need all the money available to cover Justin’s medical expenses.

“Brian, I hope you like Spanish omelets, also there is some orange juice and fresh fruit. You need a healthy breakfast to keep up your strength.” Jennifer was smiling and serving Brian with love and care. Brian sat down, letting her serve him.

Michael entered the loft with Brian’s favorite breakfast. It had been three weeks since Michael last saw Brian in New York. He was still pissed at Brian for his display of affection at the hospital. Now that Justin was out of danger and back in Pittsburgh Michael thought what the hell, soon Justin will be with Jennifer because there was no way that Brian would care for an invalid, and things would go back to normal somehow.

He was in for a surprise. He stopped midway at the display of familiarity of Brian and Jennifer talking and laughing while eating breakfast.  
“Michael! What a surprise. Brian didn’t tell me you were coming. Do you want some breakfast?”

Brian looked at Michael, “Hey Mikey! What did you bring?”  
“Good morning, Mrs. Taylor! Hey yourself Brian! I brought you your favorite breakfast from the diner. But I guess you’re not hungry any more.”

“Brian! Brian!”  
“I’m here, Justin!”

Justin woke up from a nightmare. Brian and Jennifer ran to Justin. Michael got upset again, fucking Brian jumping up and running to Justin. He dropped the breakfast he brought into the trashcan. He was about to leave but his sense of duty took over and he decided to stay.

“What is it, Justin?” Brian sounded really concerned.  
Jennifer, sitting next to Justin, tried to hold him but he moved away towards Brian.

“I was having a nightmare.”  
“What was it, Sunshine?”  
“I was walking through this dark alley and it was cold, I was hungry and scared. I kept calling your name but you never came.”  
Justin buried his face in Brian’s broad shoulder; he was crying and trembling.

“Don’t worry, Sunshine. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere except to finish your mother’s delicious breakfast. You want some?”  
Brian took Justin’s face in his hands and began to kiss his wet face and wipe his tears.  
Justin pouted his lips, “Yes! I’m hungry.”

Brian took the tray of food away from Jennifer and gave it to Justin. Justin smiled happily.

“What is it, Sunshine? Why are you so damn happy?”  
“Nothing! You just brought me breakfast in bed.”  
“Well, don’t get used to it, after tomorrow you will need to get it yourself.”  
Brian leaned in to kiss him with all the love he had in him.  
Jennifer moved away to go talk to Michael. Michael could not help but look at the scene going on between Brian and Justin. They looked happy and cozy; they looked like no one could touch them because they were in their own place, their own heaven. For the first time since Michael met Brian, he understood that Brian would never love him as he loved Justin. Brian already loved him as a brother. He had loved him since day one as his kid brother. Even though Brian was younger than Michael, Brian had always acted as his older brother.

Michael thought, “It’s time that I move on and find my own heaven.” He did not realize he had spoken out loud.  
“Excuse me, Michael. Did you say something?” Jennifer asked, confused at Michael’s remark.

Michael smiled at her, “Nothing Mrs. Taylor! I have to go, Ben is waiting for me. Could you tell Brian to give me a call whenever he can, and please tell Justin I’m glad he is okay.”

Later Brian talked to Ted and made the necessary arrangements to be able to get a   
part-time visiting nurse, a therapist, and to pay the remainder of the medical bills after Jennifer’s insurance picked up some of the tab. The days went by and Brian finally went back to work. Jennifer and Molly made arrangements to take care of Justin when the nurse was off. Things pretty much got to a normal routine. With few exceptions, Brian wasn’t at Babylon more than two nights a week and then only during the week. The weekends were for Justin. Justin started school in the summer as Brian arranged to have a private tutor and have his work sent to school.

Life goes on, no matter what!


	10. The Promise of a Day

Brian entered the loft after a day at work.

“Sunshine! Sunshine, I've got good news!”

Brian threw his briefcase and coat on the sofa while looking around for Justin. The loft was silent and seemed empty. Brian began to worry when Justin did not answer him.  
“Sunshine! Where are you? Sunshine!”

Justin walked out of the bathroom with help from a walker.  
“Brian! I am here.”

Brian turned towards the bathroom.  
He was mesmerized by the vision of Justin standing naked in front of him. He could not believe his eyes. There he was his Sunshine standing naked, just like old times. He was so taken by this vision that he did not notice his instant hard-on.

Justin saw it and smiled, “Brian, I guess I need to take care of that.”

Justin slowly began to move towards a shocked Brian with the walker. He knelt and began to suck him. Brian was still frozen and trying to process what his eyes were seeing. Justin was walking.

After awhile, Brian took Justin in his arms and carried him to bed. He laid him down gently and began to caress him. He saw that Justin had a hard-on, too. He had freely enjoyed touching Justin since the accident, and for the first time since then he knew Justin was able to enjoy him, too.

After many, many hours of passionately lovemaking, Brian was looking up at the ceiling. Justin moved to look down at Brian’s face. Brian gazed into Justin’s baby blue eyes.

“When did you find out that you could walk?”  
“About three months ago.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Cause, I wanted to surprise you!” Justin's fingers were playing with Brian’s hair and caressing his forehead.  
“Well, I am surprised alright.” Justin began to kiss Brian but he got up from the bed.

“Brian! What’s wrong?”

Brian looked at Justin. He couldn’t explain this pressing feeling of fear. He should be happy that Justin was walking again. He knew he would beat the odds. He always did. Why this?

Justin sat up and put his arms around him, “Brian! Why aren’t you happy?”  
Brian looked away from him, “I am happy, Sunshine. I'm very happy for you.”

“Gee Brian, don’t sound so fucking excited!”  
Justin dropped back to the bed and looked away, tears coming to his eyes.

Brian looked down at Justin, Why was he hurting him? Why wasn’t he happy? He wanted Justin to walk again and be the way he used to be. But now, he was afraid. Afraid of what?

He moved away and began to dress. Justin was still sniffling on the bed.

“I'm going out, Sunshine. I'll be back late.”

Justin did not answer. Brian took another look at Justin and left.

After a few hours, Justin got up and called Jennifer.  
“Mom! Could you come and pick me up?”  
“Sure honey! What’s wrong? Where is Brian?”  
“Mom, just come and pick me up please.”

 

==============================================

 

Jennifer almost had a heart attack when she saw Justin standing outside the building.  
She parked the car next to the curb and got out, almost running to hug Justin.

“Mom! You are suffocating me.”  
“Justin! You're standing. How?”  
“Well, I have two legs.”  
“Justin, don’t be a smart ass.”  
“I am getting tired mom.”

Jennifer opened the car door and Justin got in. She started to drive away.  
“Well! Tell me everything. Where is Brian? When did this happen honey?”

”Brian is probably fucking someone else at the moment. And it happened about three months ago.”

Justin began to describe to Jennifer how he found out he was recovering movement in his lower extremities, and why he decided to keep it a secret. Not even his therapist had noticed the changes. He ended up telling her about his fiasco surprise to Brian.

“Justin, do you mind if instead of going home, we go and grab a cup of coffee?”  
“No, coffee sounds good, Mom.”

Entering a Starbucks café, Jennifer ordered and they sat down. The waiter brought the order. Jennifer looked at Justin,  
“Justin, I don’t believe I am about to say this, but don’t be too harsh on Brian.”

“Mom, since when have you become Brian's defender?”  
“Since I got to know him better. You need to understand Justin, that Brian is very happy for you.”

“Well, he has a great way of showing it.”  
“Justin, the thing with Brian is that he is afraid.”  
“Afraid of what?”

“He is afraid of losing you, silly! Brian loves you very much and now that you are on your way to recovering, he is afraid to lose you again.”  
“He's not going to lose me! Why would he think that? I love him, Mom. I've loved Brian since the first day I met him.”

“Justin, Brian grew up in a very hard environment. He is not like you. He is insecure when it comes to love. It has taken him a long time to be able to allow himself to love someone, and it’s going to take him a lot longer to learn to trust someone to love him back.”  
“Why?”

“Because his parents never showed him the love we give you. Despite all our differences and mistakes, you know that Craig and I love you very much and you love us back. Brian never knew or received any love from his parents and he grew up that way. So you see it is hard for him to love and let someone love him back. But he is learning, thanks to you, sweetie.”  
“Thank you, Mom! I think I know what you mean.”

“So! Justin, what is going to be? Me or Brian.”  
“Mom! Do you need to ask?”  
“No honey, and you know what, I'm okay with that. Because I know Brian a little better now and I know you'll be okay.”

 

==============================================

 

Justin entered the loft after his mother drove him back. Brian was sitting at the dining table, which was set with candles and red roses. A song by Jim Croce was playing in the background:

“………….. every time I try to tell you the words just came out wrong.  
So! I have to say I love you in a song………”

Brian turned around to see who entered the loft. Justin smiled as he came in and admired the set up.

“Where have you been?”  
“Out with my mom. I thought you were going to Babylon and not coming back till late.”

Justin walked slowly towards Brian with his walker. Brian turned around to face the table, smiling.

“I thought we had something to celebrate tonight.”  
“Oh yes, I remember you told me you have good news. So! Tell me what's the good news?”  
Justin put his arms around Brian and smelled the roses on the table.

“Well, my news isn’t as big as you walking again. Even if it is with a walker, like a fucking old fart.”

“I'm not old. I am way younger than you and I'm beautiful.”  
Brian pulled Justin down to his lap, tossing the walker aside, and kissed him while pouring some wine for them.

“Well Sunshine, here's to you walking again like a human being, and to me because I just brought the New York office back to life.”  
“Cheers!”

After drinking the wine and eating some delicious pastries, Brian took Justin in his arms and led him to the middle of the room. With the remote control he cranked up the volume on the sound system and Jim Croce's voice filled the room:

“If I could save time in a bottle  
the first thing that I like to do  
is to save everyday till eternity passes away  
just to spend them with you………..”

Brian held Justin tightly in a slow dance, while they laughed and enjoyed being together.

 

Life is full of ups and downs but is up to us to enjoy it to the fullest.


	11. The Promise of a Day

Two years had passed since the accident. Justin had gone back to school in his senior year at college. He had recovered completely from the accident.

Justin and Daphne are walking by the different booths set up at the school job fair located in the college auditorium.

“I can’t believe you are about to turn twenty-one, Justin. You are going to be legal to drink and to officially be an adult.”

Justin rolled his eyes.  
“Big deal! I've been drinking since forever and I am an adult compared to Brian.”

“So, does Brian has any surprises in store for you?”  
“No, he doesn't believe in celebrating birthdays.”  
“Well, I thought things had changed!”

“Yeah, Brian has changed a little. At least, he is not out everyday fucking everything that moves.”  
“What are you complaining about? You know he loves you.”

“Yes! But it would be nice if sometimes we would have time to ourselves. I mean we used to spend more time together when I was a fucking vegetable. Now all he does is work during the week till the wee hours, then he comes home and works some more, then we fuck and go to bed. Weekends we are out with the gang, we party, go back home, fuck some more and bed time again. I hate it!”

“What? That you and Brian are fucking all the time?”  
“No, Daphne! You don’t understand.”  
“What then, Justin? Tell me, I want to understand.”

“What I mean is, when I was sick he would serve me breakfast in bed. He would be there with me and the therapist; he even would help me with my exercises and little things like that. Now it's like I don’t fucking exist.”

“Why would you think that Justin? Brian loves you so much. He has changed his life around for you more than anyone would ever guess.”

“You don’t know anything, Daphne. Let's change the subject.”  
“Fine! Hey, are you applying for the internship in Italy?”

“I don’t know. You think I should?”  
“I think it would be great. Imagine if you were to get it.”  
“I could try! I mean it's not like I am going to get it. I bet there are like a million applicants - what are the odds?”

“Hey, imagine what Brian would say if you got it?”  
“I totally forgot!”  
“Forgot what?”  
“Fuck! Daphne, it would be great.”  
“What would be great?”  
“Look! When I was in the hospital, Brian promised that if I ever walked again, he would take me to Italy and we would spend the most romantic time together. Now would be the perfect opportunity for us to spend time together without the gang. Just the two of us, and everything would be just perfect.”

Justin got lost in his own thoughts. Daphne smiled and looked at Justin as they both filled out job applications.

 

================================================

 

Back at the loft, Brian was relaxing and waiting for Justin when he came in.   
“Hey, Sunshine! Where have you been?”  
“At school, today was job fair day. Daphne and I were filling out applications. Now that we are almost graduates, we need jobs.”

“Come here, I have something I need to discuss with you.”  
Justin moved towards Brian and sat next to him. Brian kissed him with passion and tenderness.

“What is it, Mr. Kinney?”  
“Well, I have this little problem. We have this party to go to in honor of your 21st birthday.”

Justin's eyes lit up, “Brian!”  
“Don’t get excited, Justin! It wasn’t my idea. Your mother, Debbie and the boys are throwing it for you, not me. I don’t believe in celebrating birthdays, including yours.”

“Oh, so what is it then?”  
“Well, I got us reservations for a week in Vermont, skiing. I remember once long ago, you wanted us to go together, but I needed it to save my job. And well, the trip never happened, at least for us. Now which is it going to be?”

“Brian, are you serious?! Are we truly going to Vermont just the two of us? No one else.”

“Well, if that's what you want? Or we could stay and go to a boring party! You know I am the only one who knows how to throw parties.”  
“Like you need to ask!”

Both were happy while packing for the trip. Before leaving, they hung a note on the door that said, “Gone skiing, back in a week!”  
Brian and Justin returned from their trip to Vermont. They entered the loft kissing and teasing each other. They were as happy as happy can be.

“Mmmm! Brian, I love you! I love you so much, thank you for the wonderful time.”  
“Mmmm! I enjoyed the vacation, too, Sunshine.”

Justin went to put away the luggage and Brian checked the phone messages.  
“Sunshine! You think your mom is still pissed at us for leaving?”

“I don’t know. I can always play innocent and say I didn't know anything about the party. She will be pissed at you, not me. I'm so innocent!”

Brian kissed and nuzzled Justin.

“Mr. Taylor, you are so…”  
“I'm so what? Brian.”  
“I don’t know. I'll tell you when I figure it out.”

The day you were born  
The heavens lost an angel  
But on earth I gained my salvation.  
The day you were born  
My destiny was sealed  
And my soul belonged to you.  
The day you were born  
A ray of hope entered my life  
While the sun shone thru your smile.  
Happy Birthday my love,  
Happy Birthday Sunshine.

Brian held Justin tight as he smiled at his own thoughts


	12. The Promise of a Day

It was Graduation day. After the commencement ceremony, everyone went to Babylon. Brian was throwing a party in honor of Daphne and Justin's college graduations.

“I can't believe Brian is throwing this party for us, Justin.”  
“Well Daphne, Brian believes in achievements and we did graduate with honors.”  
“Fuck! You graduated top five in your class.”  
“And you graduated top ten, Daphne.”

“How is my favorite duo? Hi Daphne, congratulations! Do you mind if I take this boy away from you for a minute?”  
“Thanks Brian! For everything, the party is fucking great.”  
“No sweat, Daphne.”

Brian and Justin went to a quieter area.  
“What is it, Brian?”  
“Nothing! I just wanted to be alone with you for a second and give you this.”

Brian handed Justin an envelope wrapped with a red small bow while kissing and caressing him all over. Justin opened the present.

“Brian! I can't believe it, you remembered!”  
“Of course I remembered! I made you a promise. If you ever walked again, I would take you to Italy for the best fucking time of your life. You kept your end of the bargain and now I am keeping mine. You've graduated and I am taking some time off from the office; we are off to Rome in a month.”  
Justin was happier than ever. 

 

===============================================

 

Three weeks before the trip to Italy.  
Brian came into the loft from work; Justin and Jennifer were unpacking bags.

“Christ! What's happening here? Jen, care to explain what are all these bags?”  
“Well Brian, you and Justin are taking off for a month in Italy so we went on a shopping spree for clothes.”  
“Isn’t it great we found all this on sale, Brian?”

Brian kissed Jennifer on the cheek and grabbed Justin by his waist. Kissing him passionately he said, “Sunshine, you don’t need to pack anything. We'll buy everything in Milan. We only need a bag full of condoms for the flight and the rest we'll get in Italy. And you certainly don’t need to buy anything on sale!”

“Brian!”  
“Sunshine!”

Justin smiled at Brian as Brian played with his hair while looking into his eyes.  
Jennifer decided to interrupt this intimate moment between Brian and her son.

“Oh Brian, before I forget, here is your mail. I picked it up in our way in.”  
Jennifer handed it to Brian.

“Thanks Jen!”  
Brian looked at the mail, “Hmmm Sunshine, here is a letter for you.”  
Brian teased Justin about the letter.  
“So Sunshine, who is writing to you?”  
Brian waited for Justin to finish reading the letter.

“Oh my God! Mom! You are not going to believe this!”

“Believe what, Justin?” Jennifer moved closer to Justin to read the letter.  
“Justin, this is great! I am so happy for you, honey.”

Brian got impatient and moved toward Justin to read the letter, too.  
“Does anyone care to explain to me what the fuck is going on?”

“Mom! Do you know how many applications were submitted? Thousands of them, and only fifty graduates were going to be accepted for this internship nationwide. And those accepted will get a full scholarship for two years to graduate school at the Institute of Fine Arts in Milan.”

Brian finished reading the letter with sadness in his eyes. Justin jumped up and down in happiness. He went to grab Brian and tried dancing with him, but Brian refused and went to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of wine.

“What’s the matter, Brian? Aren’t you happy for me? Imagine how lucky I am! I was selected over thousands of candidates.”  
“I am happy for you, Sunshine. Very happy! I need to go to the office; I forgot something that I need to take care right away.”

Brian finished his glass of wine, and kissed Justin in the cheek.  
“See you around, Jen! I’ll be back later, Sunshine.”

Brian left the loft. As soon as he closed the door his legs almost gave out. He felt the weight of the world in his back and his eyes became watery.

Inside the loft, Justin asked Jennifer, “What just happened, Mom?”  
“I don’t know what you mean, Justin.”  
Jennifer is torn between Brian’s pain and her son’s great opportunity.

“Brian is acting like a total asshole! That’s what I mean, Mom!”  
“You mean cause he left. Well, he said he forgot something at the office, Justin. You know he needs to have everything running smoothly. You two are going to spend a whole month in Italy and the agency is not going to take care of itself. You remember what happened the last time he was away from work?”

“No Mom! I mean he wasn't happy for me. This is a great opportunity and he acts as if it did not matter.”  
“Justin, you can’t be serious! Brian is happy for you. He is very happy for you, sweetie.”

Jennifer excused herself and left the loft to look for Brian. Finally she found him at Woody’s.

 

================================================

 

“Brian!”  
Brian looked around at the sound of his name. He saw Jennifer and turned back to his drink.   
“Brian! I been looking for you all over.”  
“Why, Jen?”

“Well, maybe because I care for you.”  
“Just leave me alone.”

“Brian, as painful as it may be, you know he needs to go.”  
“Jen! I’d appreciate it if you would leave me alone. I don’t want to do or say anything I will regret later.”

Jennifer kissed Brian and got up to leave.  
“Brian, I know you will do the right thing. Just remember, I am here. I will be here for you.”

Brian closed his eyes, bit his lips and took a drink while a soft female voice in the background was singing:

“If I never feel you in my arms again,  
If I never feel your tender kiss again,  
If I never hear I love you now and then.  
Will I never make love to you once again  
Please understand  
If love ends  
Then I promise you, I promise you  
That I shall never breath again………..”

Sometimes we need to sacrifice in life for the greater good, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like hell!


	13. The Promise of a Day

Time has passed. Brian left Justin at the airport eight years ago. Michael, Ben, Debbie and Victor had died in a car accident on their way home from their annual vacation three years ago. Lindsay and Melanie had moved away with Gus and Victoria (Melanie’s daughter). Melanie had inherited her aunt’s Augusta estate, and after some discussion they had decided to move away from Pittsburgh about a year ago. Ted and Emmett had grown apart from Brian since Michael’s death.

Brian and Cynthia were going through papers and cleaning up at the office.

“I can’t believe it, Brian! We’re out of a job.”  
“Don’t worry, Cynthia. I’ll make sure to talk to the new owners; if they intend to keep the agency open, I’m sure they would appreciate a woman of your talent. Otherwise, I will give you some referrals and letters of recommendation.”

“What about you, Brian? What are you going to do now?”  
Brian looked at Cynthia and then turned to face one of the file cabinets thinking to himself. What about me? Well, one thing is for sure. I am not staying here in glorious Pittsburgh; there is nothing here to hold me.

“What about me, Cynthia? Well, I guess I am going on a world tour then where ever my luck takes me.”

Cynthia took a long look at him, he seemed defeated, tired, ready to give up. Brian had gone through too much these past years, especially the past few months.

The phone rang.  
Cynthia answered it and turned to Brian. “Brian it’s Molly. She said it’s urgent.”

Brian made a fastidious face.  
“Hello, Molly. What do you need?”  
“Brian, has mom’s will been read yet? I been trying to get hold of Justin but he is not available.”  
“Christ! Molly, Jen’s body is not even cold yet and the only thing you can think of is her will.”

“Fuck off Brian! I need money. My husband is in real trouble and I am hoping my mom left us some money.”  
“Molly, I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but Jen’s money is gone. But feel free to pay some of her medical bills plus the funeral expenses.”

After more harsh words between Brian and Molly were exchanged, Brian hung up the phone. Cynthia looked at him. She has been his assistant since he had started working for this agency under Ryder’s name. She had been with him through everything from company takeovers to lawsuits and you name it. She has been the only constant in his life besides Michael and Debbie Novotny. She knew how much the Taylors meant to Brian, especially Justin. That was why when he asked her to call Justin and let him know about Jennifer’s death, she did not hesitate. She knew how much Justin’s absence still hurt Brian.

“Can I help or bring you something, Brian?”  
“No thanks, Cynthia! Just make sure you close the door on your way out. I’m staying a little longer to make sure all the documents are ready for the transfer on Monday.”  
“Good night, Brian!”  
“Good night, Cynthia.”

Brian took out a cigarette and began to smoke, looking out the window in his office. The street outside was beginning to buzz with the nightlife. He closed his eyes and began to think of Jennifer Taylor.

He remembered the first few days after Justin’s departure to Italy. He had submerged himself in work the whole week, but when the weekend came he found himself alone at the loft. He tried to go to Woody’s with the guys, but it felt strange without Justin. So he left and took a walk, and before he knew it he was in front of Mrs. Taylor’s home.

He stood outside for a while and had decided to leave when Jennifer came outside and called to him. She had invited him in for dinner - it turned out Molly had gone to a friend’s house and she was left alone. From that day forward, Brian and Jennifer spent Sundays together. It became sort of a tradition.

Then a few years back, Jennifer had found out she had breast cancer and after a hard battle, Jennifer had lost. She had died almost two weeks ago.

Brian had been taking care of all the arrangements for Jennifer’s funeral. He hadn’t had the courage to call Justin. He hadn’t spoken to him since the day he kissed him good-bye. Even when Justin kept calling him the first year, he never answered his calls. Then the phone calls became fewer and fewer. He knew about Justin’s life and achievements through Jennifer.

Brian opened his eyes and lit up another cigarette. He walked to his desk, opened a drawer with a lock and retrieved a picture of him and Justin taken at Woody’s. While he was looking at the picture, he started to recall the events of Jennifer’s funeral.

Brian was standing next to Jennifer’s casket and Cynthia was at the door greeting people. Brian looked up at the sound of a familiar voice, and his stomach tied in a knot as he saw Justin talking to Cynthia. He was looking so handsome; his blond hair was a little longer and unruly covering his face and giving him a boyish look. But the grey suit he was sporting gave him an air of a man of importance.

Brian scanned Justin very carefully from head to toe, taking pleasure in every single moment. He was standing tall, wearing dark grey pants, a black silk shirt with a soft grey tie and a medium shade of grey sport jacket. Obviously Justin’s great taste hadn’t changed. The whole look was reminiscent of a model right out of a Hugo Boss or Armani catalog.

Brian was still looking at Justin when he looked straight at Brian and smiled his sunshine smile. Justin began to walk towards him when a dark-haired young boy grabbed him by the arms and kissed him on the mouth. The boy couldn’t be more than 19 or 20 years old. He was petite, with blue eyes and dark hair, gorgeous. He also looked like a model from a teen magazine. Brian could not help but to look away when a sharp pain stabbed him.

Justin came up to him after the funeral.  
“Hi, Brian! I want to thank you for all you have done for my mother. If I had known how sick she was, I would have come back sooner.”  
“Yeah well, she did not want to worry you or Molly.”

Justin smiled at him and was about to add something else when the boy came up again and stood between Brian and Justin.

“Justin quanto piu’ a lungo stiamo noi?”  
(Justin how much longer are we staying?)  
The boy glanced at Brian then smiled back at Justin.

Justin gave him a long look and smiling answered him,  
“I ho bisogno di parlare, con lui un poco d piu’ vai ed aspetta me nella macchina.”  
(In a second, I need to talk to him a little longer, just go and wait for me in the car.)  
Then kissed him on the mouth and turned back to Brian. The Italian boy left.

Brian manged to keep a straight face and asked, “Who is the boy? Your boyfriend?”  
“I don’t do boyfriends. They are so overrated and he is nobody, just the fuck of the week.”

“Christ Justin! You are cynical. How old is the boy?”  
“Hmmm! The same age I was when we first met. If you look at it, it kind of reminds me of us. I am 29 just like you were back then, and he is 17 just like I was, except he will be out of my life in a few days.”

Brian looked away as he did not want Justin to see the hurt in his eyes. Justin looked at the boy sitting in his car.

“Well Brian, it was nice to see you again. I hope I see you again before I leave for Italy.”

Justin shook Brian’s hand and started to walk to his car. Before he got in, he turned and looked at Brian once more. His head was low and he seemed sad, tired.

A loud noise brought Brian back to reality. He went to check what caused the noise. The alarm had set itself off and one of the security guards was struggling to reset it.  
Brian called it a night.

 

=============================================

 

Monday morning came, and Brian was walking into his office where Cynthia was already waiting for him.

“Brian, the officers from the bank are here, everyone is waiting in the conference room.”  
Brian breathed in and out then looked at Cynthia and smiled, “Well, here goes nothing Cynthia.” Cynthia just smiled at him.

After a few hours of discussing and signing papers, the people from the bank left and Brian was sitting in the conference room alone.  
Cynthia came in. “Brian! I received a call from one of the lawyers of the new firm taking over the agency. He asked if you would be interested in meeting with them to discuss an offer with you.”

“What kind of offer?”  
“I don’t know Brian, he just told me if you were interested in hearing the offer, you were expected to be here tomorrow around 10 AM.”  
“Thanks, Cynthia.”

Next day, Brian decided to go to the meeting and to listen to the offer. He did not think he would accept it, but he wanted to hear what the lawyers had to say. He was looking his best. Brian was wearing a dark suit, black pants, black sport jacket and red silk shirt with a multicolored tie.

He entered the conference room where a group of people were standing next to a young blond man dressed in black dress pants and a blue turtleneck. To Brian’s surprise the young man was none other than Justin.

Everyone started to sit down at the conference table; Justin sat down at the head of the table. One of the lawyers pointed to an empty place at the table for Brian, and they began to discuss the offer they had in mind when Justin spoke. “Leave us!”  
“Mr. Taylor, we need to finish discussing the terms of the contract.”  
“I said leave us, Carl. Everyone please go. I will call you when I need you.”

Justin took a long look at Brian and sighed as everyone cleared the room.  
After an awkward pause, Justin got up from his seat and began to walk towards the huge window overlooking the street down below. Brian was quietly watching Justin’s every move. Justin lit up a cigarette after offering one to Brian, and turned to look out the window. After a few puffs, Justin turned around and looked straight at Brian while sitting down at the table again.

“Brian. May I call you Brian or do you prefer Mr. Kinney?”

Brian still was not sure of what was going on so he just smiled and added,  
“It doesn’t really matter what you call me. What matters is what are you doing here, and why am I here?”

“Well Brian, I don’t know if you know what has happened to me over the years, but just for the purpose of information, I will tell you life has been good to me. I have made a couple of investments that have paid me very well, and now I have more money that I can spend in a lifetime. I heard that the agency was in financial trouble and the note was sold to a liquidator. I brought the note through one of my brokers and now I am the sole owner of this agency.”

“Why did you buy it?”  
“Mainly for sentimental reasons.”  
“What do you want with me?”

“Well, I might have bought the agency for sentimental reasons but that doesn’t mean I don’t expect it to make money. Who else is best qualified to bring this agency back to the top again, but you?”

Brian kept looking at Justin as he moved to sit closer to Brian, and set the package of papers left by the lawyers next to him.

“Now here is the deal Brian. In this package, you will find a very comprehensive and fair offer for you to stay with this agency. You will find that you are being offered a partnership where I provide the money and you provide the talent. I will be a silent partner. I am not really interested in playing an active role in any of my investments, which is why I surround myself with the best.”

Justin moved away from Brian, lit another cigarette and looked out the window once more while Brian started to look through the papers. After a few puffs, he put out the cigarette and returned to sit down across Brian.

“But now I am not sure!”  
“What do you mean? You are not sure, Justin?”

“What I mean Brian is, I do want a partner but I don’t want to be a silent partner any more. I want a partner whom I can trust, who won’t pass me over if a better offer comes along. One who will discuss things with me before making any decisions about our future, even if it is for my own benefit. I want a partner who wants me and only me, who will share a night out on the scene as well as a stay home with equal ease. I wouldn’t mind a little romance, but I won’t be holding my breath for it. I want an equal partnership.”

Brian was frozen still in his chair, his face deprived of emotion. Justin got up and moved towards the window again. After another long pause he turned to look at Brian and added, “You don’t have to give me an answer right away. You can go home and think about it. Weigh both options and choose the one that suits you best. I’ll be waiting. I have wait for the past twelve or so years, I’m sure I can wait a few more weeks.”

Justin wrote something on a piece of paper, then handed it to Brian.

“Here. This is my new address in Pittsburgh, you can find me here any time or you can call me on my cell no matter what time it is!”

Justin left the conference room; Brian stayed behind, speechless.

 

=================================================

 

Next morning after Justin made his offer to Brian.  
Justin had bought a house in one of the high-class neighborhoods in Pittsburgh. It was a mid-size two-story brick house, the architecture was colonial 18th century but it had all the commodities of the 21st century. The entrance to the property resembled the old entrances to a plantation house. The iron gates gave way to a stone road flanked with pine trees and colorful wild flowers. The house was equipped with servant quarters, a two-car garage plus an adjacent garage where Justin was going to house two Italian style motorcycles personally engraved with the initials JT and BK in gold. The inside of the house was finished in white marble, Italian style. The first floor was divided into a large library, a living room, dining room, a well-equipped high tech kitchen and a sunroom, which Justin had appropriated as his studio. The upstairs housed the master bedroom, two guest rooms, a bathroom plus a Jacuzzi and an indoor pool. 

Justin was eating breakfast in the terrace overlooking the outdoor pool in the backyard.  
“Mr. Taylor, the motorcycles just arrived from Italy and I parked them in the small garage.”   
”Thank you, James!”

“Mr. Taylor, if you don’t mind me prying into your personal life. Why did you get those motorcycles from Italy? Also the staff wants to know when the furniture is going to arrive.”

“To answer your last question, there is not going to be any furniture arriving any time soon. So, just tell the staff to mind their own business and if they don’t like the work environment, give them their severance pay and look for new staff, James. About your first question, I don’t know, maybe I was hoping that Brian and I would get back together.”

“Have you talked to the elusive Mr. Kinney?”  
“Yes James, I made him two offers and I am hoping he accepts the second rather than the first one.”

“Sir, if you don’t mind, do you care to share with a nosy, old man?”  
Justin smiled at the butler and his gaze turned sad.

“Where do I begin, James?”  
“How about when you and Mr. Kinney last parted.”  
“Well, it was three weeks before our scheduled vacation. I was expected to be in Milan to start my internship. Brian decided that I should go first and he would follow me the next week, as planned. I believed him, I truly believed he would come and we would have our vacation even if I was working in Italy. The first time I laid eyes on Italian soil, I was mesmerized by the beauty of the city, and while taking a cab from the airport to the pension where I was to stay for the duration of the internship, I saw this couple riding two motorcycles side-by-side. I thought that could be Brian and me, but he never showed up. I kept calling him every day for a year, and then the following year I realized Brian would never come to me. Just like he never came to me on our canceled trip to Vermont when he had to save his precious job. I kept asking my mom about Brian and she just told me Brian was doing great and I should let him go. I never lost hope, but days became weeks, weeks became months, and then the years passed.”

“Why didn’t you go back when the internship ended?”  
“Because I wanted Brian to be the one to come and get me, instead of me being the one chasing after him.”  
“Why did you make the two offers?”  
“Because I know Brian loves me and I love him, and I can’t live without him any more.”

“Mr. Taylor what if Mr. Kinney decides to go for the silent/business partnership or worse, he just declines both of them?”  
“Then my dear James, I will burn this house to the ground and with it all my dreams and hopes. I will move back to Italy and become one of those reclusive millionaires and continue doing what I been doing for the past eight years, minus the Brian Kinney ghost.”

 

==============================================

 

Two weeks later, Justin was in his studio working on a project when the front doorbell rang. James spoke to someone in the corridor, then entered Justin’s studio.

“Mr. Taylor! Mr. Brian Kinney is here to see you.”  
Brian entered the sunroom. He purposely didn’t meet Justin’s eyes.

“Where is the furniture?”  
“It’s a work in progress.”  
“Hmmm! The place has possibilities.”

“Would you like something to drink? Water, tea, chocolate, juice or any alcoholic beverage you could think of.”

“What, all of the sudden you have become an alcoholic?”  
“No, but I do own an extensive collection of wines and liquor. So what is going to be?”  
“Nothing. I’m okay. What are you doing? Or were doing when I came in?”

“Not much. Just doing some sketches.”  
“Where is your wonder boy?”  
“Who?”  
“The boy you were with at the funeral.”  
“Oh him! Home I suppose. I don’t really know or care to know. He was on a plane the next day.”

Brian looked around the studio.  
“So this is the studio of the famous Justin Taylor.”  
“I’m not famous. I don’t intend to be. I just want to do what I like to do.”

Brian moved closer to Justin, “And what is that, Sunshine?”  
“Be with the man I love, the man I have always loved and I will keep on loving no matter what!”

Brian leaned in to kiss Justin passionately and hold him tight.  
After a few minutes of kissing and caressing each other, Brian whispered in Justin’s ear.

“I missed you like hell! I don’t want to be without you any more, or ever again for that matter. I won’t be able to handle life without you at my side.”

“The promise of a day  
is more than I love you with words.  
The freedom to soar way above the sky  
Is what comes from true love.  
The mixing of feelings,  
The stirs of emotions,  
The I give you now and I take away later  
Is what makes life worthwhile.  
But above all the trust in each other  
Is what makes the lives of lovers heaven on earth.”

 

Brian and Justin  
“A diamond is forever but true love will last an eternity.”


End file.
